Little more hat

 My allergies have been really nightmarish; until today it was dry and unnaturally hot, and everyone (seemingly) was out leaf blowing earlier this week. I’ve had a sore throat and runny nose (it’s not covid, and I’m not sick enough for flu; this is either allergies, something like a viral sinus infection, or a light cold. I haven’t had a fever, so I don’t know.)

Yes, I am still traveling tomorrow. If it were flu or covid, I wouldn’t, but I have a compartment. (And I warned my mom, but since I started with this Tuesday, I may well no longer be contagious if it’s a cold)

I might post a little from the road.

I’m almost packed, I still need to decide on shoes and put in the things I need in the morning (medications and makeup and the like). 

I didn’t finish the gift hat but I also give an exam tomorrow:

I have a couple more inches before the crown decreases. Not sure I’ll get that far tomorrow but maybe I can take it with me to finish 

Almost break time

 Unfortunately I have two afternoon meetings tomorrow, so I decided to do what packing I can today (I leave Friday, and I have to do that jolly quick after class, especially if there's still road construction on 69/75)

Most of my clothes are in. I still have to figure out shoes (these days, because of my knee, I'm a little constrained as regards shoes). I do still have to put in all the toiletries/medications/toothbrush and stuff, that's Friday morning.

But I also wanted to wind off yarn for a new project - some fingerless mitts in a knit-purl pattern. And I had the yarn I wanted for them - a skein of Purl's Yarn Emporium Adventure Yarn in the colorway "Healing Hands" (orange, pink, and cream). 

But. Apparently it was either mis-skeined or I got it twisted because it would not unwind cleanly on my swift. I wound up having to pick through the loops for a while, winding what I got off into a ball, until it loosened up. But then I had to keep winding it that way the rest of the way.

Once I got the big ball, I decided I really wanted it into a cake - because it's more loosely wound that way and it compacts down better (for packing) and it doesn't put strain on the yarn like being in a tight ball would. But it still didn't cooperate, and it took a long time to wind it off. I hope that's not a bad omen for the project (or my trip).

I got more done on the gift hat while giving an exam today; I will have to see what I can get done tomorrow evening before I decide if I try hauling it along to finish it, or if I can trust I can make time to do it before the party. 

 

These stupid times

 Maybe you've heard it. Maybe not. But there was a woman, asking a very highly placed man a question. The woman was a reporter; the man didn't like the question. 

So, instead of sucking it up and answering, or even deflecting to an underling to explain, he told her to be quiet. And added the epithet "piggy"

 

Okay, if you've not been a woman - if you've not been a woman who was unpopular as a kid, or gained weight when she "developed," or had men say gross things to her, you might not realize how deeply that cuts. But it does.

I've said before, I was a bullied kid in school. I wasn't popular. There were reasons, some of them not entirely fair - my family had less money than the median family in that town, or at any rate, my parents didn't do conspicuous consumption like some of the other families. And I was a weird kid. Probably some flavor of neurodivergent; I still am*. I cried easily, I got fixated on things, I was anxious, I tended to like things "younger" than what my peers did (being told, for example that liking The Muppet Movie was "for babies" when I was about 11). I could also be a little pedant. That was probably the most forgivable reason for the kids bullying me, I don't know. (The money thing was probably the least, as it was in no way my doing). 

(*it's gotten worse, too. I can feel it being worse now than before the pandemic. I am far more awkward now)

But being called names. It's such a horrible, exclusionary thing. I got called "stupid" and "fatty" and the "r-slur" and any number of other things from like first grade and into high school (It was less in high school because I was at a prep school where (a) seeming shabby and down at the heels was actually kind of cool, and I had that naturally and (b) most of us were weird nerds who had not been happy in the earlier grades)

And I can't fully explain the unpleasant flashbacks hearing that reporter called "piggy" did to me. 

It does cut you from the pack. The person saying the word is immediately trying to imply you don't belong, you're defective. 

And while that can be defused if you are popular enough to have defenders, I never was. I don't EVER remember someone defending me when I was taunted as a school kid. 

Of course, that takes bravery to do. Because if you stand up for someone unpopular who is being taunted, it makes YOU unpopular, too. You get that loser-stink on you and it's hard to wash off. You become the person who stood up for that weird kid - oh no, maybe you LIKE them. And so few kids have that kind of gumption to risk rejection to defend a classmate, especially not someone they're not close friends already with.

But what made it worse? Back in the 1970s, the teachers - the adults in charge, the people with authority, perhaps with the power to shut down some of the bullying - they by and large did nothing in my school.

I'm not sure why. Maybe they didn't care. Maybe they thought kids like me deserved the hassling we got. Or maybe they believed in some kind of "law of the schoolyard" business, where "letting bullied kids be bullied" means they learn to work it out somehow** and also, maybe, it'll toughen them up and  make them stronger adults.

It didn't make me stronger. It made me afraid. As an adult I'm slow to open up to people because I learned young if you do that, it WILL be used against you some how. You can't trust, and maybe it's better not to like too quickly, because people will turn on you. 

It's unfair to the people around me but I still sometimes expect it as an adult - "why are they being friendly to me? is there an ulterior motive?"

(** and even back then? If it was the sort of shove-and-kick bullying boys did to each other, and a victim tried to beat up a bully, more often than not, the VICTIM got an in-school suspension. Because bullies learn to cover up what they're doing. Doubly so for girl-bullies, who use words and rumors and ostracization as their weapons)

And yes, as several people have pointed out: the reporter was there in a scrum. No one spoke up for her. No one challenged the (admittedly-powerful) man for his unnecessary slur. Cowards. Not wanting to get into the line of fire.  Just as much cowards as some of the kids I went to school with. Or devious; figuring if they pretended not to see what had been done, they would be able to keep access to that powerful man for their jobs. 

And yes, she's a full grown woman making a good salary and I suspect she has a partner and maybe kids who love her and helped take some of the sting away. (But it never really does; not fully - I had parents who loved me very much, and some of the other adults at church loved me almost like my parents, and I had a few friends - but that never quite makes up for the fear that maybe you really are defective). 

And I admit, maybe I let it hit me a little harder than I should have. But wow, do I remember that feeling, of hearing something like "STUPID!" yelled in a hallway and looking around just to see the source of the noise, and hearing that mocking laughter and "Oh look it knows its name" (An experience I had in, dear God, first grade, and I STILL remember it)

And yes, I need to let it go. But it's very hard when you have that experience so much as a kid. It puts doubt in your  mind - maybe I am ugly (to this day, I cannot realistically evaluate my appearance and more than once as an adult I've dissolved in tears while putting on make up or trying to do my hair because why can't I just look like the normal women I know?). Maybe I am stupid or weird or don't belong anywhere. 

And it's HARD.

And this year, with the seeming efflorescence of incivility in our culture***, I'm having flashbacks to bad grade school experiences. Oh, I'm OKAY, I guess, I keep soldiering on and when I get involved in a project I forget what it was that wounded me. But seeing it again, and again, and seeing it seemingly approved of by others.....well, it makes me think "yeah no don't go out into the world and try to make friends, it's too much risk of rejection and pain for the possible pay off of making a friend"

***And yes, it has always been such, more so for some groups I am not a part of. But until very recently it did feel like it was getting better, like people were becoming, if not more tolerant, more aware that open intolerance isn't cool and people didn't approve of it any more.....but maybe people are starting to approve of it again?

Honestly I remember going around as a kid wishing I was someone other than who I was - prettier, or tougher, or more palatable somehow to my peers. I still feel that, some times. But instead, I just kind of have to keep soldiering on and try to find ways to shut up that part of my mind that reminds me that "you're probably Not Right, that's why kids made fun of you all those years ago...." 

started the waffles

 I FINALLY got the twisted-stitch ribbing done and started the waffle pattern on the hat (2 rows plain, 2 rows p2, k2) and mercifully it goes faster. But I'm still worried about getting it done in time

 It looks nice, though, and I have some sort of pickleball-green yarn for one for myself. 

***

My ornament came today. I now have Jewelbrites of the Holy Family and one of each of the wise men (2 of Balthasar). I think this one is supposed to be Melchior. At least, it's different from the other two in terms of pose and painting

 this one also has a little clear glitter as "snow" on the ground, the others don't have that. (Yes, yes, there wasn't snow in the Holy Land, but also there's no textual evidence for there having been precisely three wise men or even for sure that they showed up at the manger)

and anyway, here, they look more like kings. (I know the Three Kings was a thing; when I was growing up they were always described to me as wise men; more like astronomers or advisors or something)

***

I did buy myself some treats while out on Saturday, and I did a bit more Christmas shopping (the natural-foods store had some nice things)

The silliest- and there fore the treatiest - treat I bought was this*

 Apparently Ulta did a collab with Peanuts. Of course most of the stuff is cosmetics (there was an eyeshadow palette and I don't really wear eyeshadow) but they had this guy in a little clear plastic box and I decided I wanted a little Snoopy wearing a tennis-team shirt. (It declares he is the captain of the Blazing Beagles). 

I kind of love this. It reminds me very much of the sort of toys like this when I was a kid - the Determined Productions (which I think later was absorbed by Applause, and now I think even Applause is gone). Stuffed animals with some kind of slight fantasy hook (it reminds me a little of the S.S. Happiness Crew, which I've written about before) - where there's some job or sport or club or other activity with characters in it. (Snoopy was the only one they had but it was slightly implied his siblings were also on the team - I know of Spike and Belle but I think there were other siblings in one  of the tv specials)

He is small - maybe about 8" - and very soft, and I hesitated at first but now I'm glad I bought him.

(There's another silly thing from Five Below, but I have to modify it slightly I think before it will work, so a picture will be later).  

Ready to relax

 I worked hard today so I can have tomorrow free. (if I'm okay to do so, see below).

I taught two of my classes. The third one, all that remains is an article-discussion, which was scheduled for today, but when I asked them if they wanted to put it off until Monday, they all did (so I hope their writeups are BETTER for that). During that time and the other hour before my second class, I wrote the other in-class exam I will need for next week, and sent the one I had written earlier off to the printer and the copy to Student Support for the person with an extra time accommodation. 

I also collected article critiques in a DIFFERENT class (my smallest class; there are 11 people still attending; I got nine critiques). My plan was to go home and read them (and the articles that they were based on - I assigned four people could choose from) but then I got to thinking - well, maybe this is a good chance to get a flu vaccine (this is the last shot I need for the fall). So I checked at the walgreens, and yes, they had appointments. Their shot giver guy, at least the one I've had before, is pretty good, and if you have needle-fear, it helps to have someone you can trust not to give a painful shot). So I made an appointment for 2:30, ran home and ate lunch (stopping at the grocery first for another half gallon of milk; I was out).

I re-read the discussion article for the Monday class (I had assigned it in a past year so just needed to refresh, and I had a list of guiding questions I had written up in the past).

Then I ran out to Walgreens.

In between all this, the eye clinic sent me a text - my new sunglasses were in. Okay, fine, maybe I get them after the vaccine.

And then I realized I had left one of the student article critiques in my office. Okay, fine, I go back after THAT and either get it or just grade them all in my office.

Out to get the vaccine. The process is normally pretty seamless; you check in by text and sit in the waiting area and the shot guy calls you when it's your time. Except, today, they may have been a bit understaffed (I heard one of the techs apologize to someone there was a bit of a wait). And maybe the shot-giver guy is also the pharmacist, the one with authority. Because there was a woman there fussing about how the prescription called in for her was Not Right. That she was supposed to get three weeks or whatever of her heart medicine and she was being given seven days. And she kept haranguing the shot guy, and he calmly said he needed to call her doctor. Well, while he was doing that, SHE tried calling (and may have tied up the line?). She went back and fussed more at him. And I was sitting there. It was not a good setting to try to read student papers in, so I couldn't work on them. Fifteen minutes past my appointment passed, then twenty. I wondered at what point I should quietly tell the tech I'd try to come back next week (except next week I travel), but decided to stay and wait.

The shot was a half-hour late. I was polite to the guy and didn't say anything; wasn't his fault anyway.

hopefully I don't get aches or chills tomorrow so I can't go; my arm is a little sore but then it always is with flu shots 

So then to the eye doctor's. The optical shop was SLAMMED and I waited like 15 minutes. Again, if they wanted to EFFICIENT, I think, they could have had one of the two opticians helping people *picking out* glasses frames and getting their prescription filled, and the other one just giving the finished glasses and checking the fit. But no, so I waited at least 15 minutes. 

But I finally got them.

At least the case will make them easy to find in my car (where I usually keep them)

Then I realized if I was going shopping, and maybe out for lunch, ESPECIALLY at small businesses where I might only spend a few dollars, it might make sense to get some cash. So I ran to the bank. (I don't have an ATM card; I did as a college student and learned fast I was not organized enough to remember to keep track of every transaction)

So I did that. 

And finally, back to campus, at 3:45 pm. On a Friday. (Remarkably, several of my colleagues were still there).

I sat down and read the papers I had skimmed earlier and made comments and put grades (I only had 8, but one more came in with an apologetic e-mail, as I was doing them)

Got those done shortly after 5, came home, washed my hair, finished piano practice, at not-the-most-nutritious dinner (a bowl of Chex and a couple servings of fruit) and just finished changing the bedsheets...

But at least tomorrow I can sleep in, and then go do what I want. I'm hoping maybe to find some small fun thing at an antique shop or maybe go to the fancy soap/candle/hand lotion store
 

Thursday evening things

 * Week's almost over, and my meetings for this month are done, thank goodness (last night was Board Meeting. Still no definite talk of shutting down, though it's acknowledged that filling the pulpit right now is hard - there's a shortage of pastors and we can't afford a full time one; we've been filling in with retired folks and seminary students).

I volunteered to do the third Sunday of Advent (right after finals) if they can't get someone. Then I checked and it's Gaudete Sunday, or the week of Joy.

Never let it be said God lacks a sense of humor; how many times have I said recently I struggled to find joy. But if I have to do the thing, I will do the thing. I will find a way.

 * I just need a little time off. This is the hard time of the semester for everyone; it gets a little harder to extend grace when a student needs an extension or keeps e-mailing me with anxious questions. Oh, I do the thing, and I am polite, but I can tell I feel worn. 

Also this is the point where I desperately wish I had someone to take care of me a little bit - someone to do the laundry for me some week when I'm tired, or cook for me, or even just give me some words of encouragement, but I don't often get any of that. And so I keep soldiering on and trying to find ways to simulate the feel of someone caring for me. (I probably get restaurant meals more than I ideally should, for example). 

* I do have to write an exam for next week tomorrow but if I can get that done, I can take Saturday off. And there's no "festival" that I can see planned for Denison (=so it won't be crowded and I won't have a struggle finding close places to park) and so I might try a little final Christmas shopping, but if that doesn't work, I have things in mind I can mail order. 

No, I don't know what I might want, I will have to figure something out to tell my mom. Difficulty level: she doesn't use the internet so anything mail ordered (which is more ideal given that she's older and doesn't like driving anywhere unfamiliar any more) has to come from a paper catalog. (I have a few saved up, even an KnitPicks one, in case. Though I'm not sure KnitPicks even takes orders over the phone any more). 

No, I don't just want money to buy "what I want," that's not fun. I'd rather get just a couple small things like a box of nice tea from the store or some gadget from the Ace hardware instead. 

* Christmas, at least the materialistic part of it, is a lot less fun when you're an adult. I wish I could still get excited about receiving gifts but I really can't - but I also can't quite bring myself to just say "no gifts at all"

*I did pull out some of the Christmas music and decided it wasn't too early to start running through some of the pieces. I guess I am improving a little bit, it seems the couple I tried are easier than they were last year.

 

Did the thing

 Back at the beginning of the month, I was even questioning if I wanted to put up a Christmas tree or not - I'm so busy, and so tired, and the world is an ugly mess and maybe there's not much to celebrate?

But then on the weekend I put up the lights over my door, and after getting a lot of stuff done this morning at school (and having no after-2 pm obligations) I decided to come home and put the tree up.

(Actually it was closer to 4; I had stayed over longer to take care of a couple future things, including preparing an exam for next week). 

And I had to do a little cleanup first, and after I cleared a spot I decided to vacuum. And I moved the critters normally on an upholstered side chair I don't really use so I could put some of my holiday ones out:

 Some of those I've had a long time. That bear in the top hat was to commemorate the year 2000, so I've had it 25 years now. The Grinch was from my niece; when she was fairly small and they were coming to my mom's for Thanksgiving she saw it somewhere (maybe they stopped to eat at a Cracker Barrel?) and decided I needed an extra Christmas present. The bear in the green sweater is an Aer Lingus souvenir; back around 2004 when my parents traveled to London they flew Aer Lingus and apparently they had a "shop cart" on the plane, and my mother decided to buy the bear for me. 

I did put up the tree. I had to stop and take a break to eat; I got very weak and shaky (it sometimes happens between 4:30 and 5, if I haven't eaten much for lunch). But then I got it up and even got the lights on before I washed my hair for the night:

I debated whether to put the ornaments on tonight or wait, but tomorrow is Board Meeting so I will have zero personal time, and I'm not sure what's up for Thursday (if I don't have some kind of surprise campus meeting I need to take my car for an oil change, and I have to wait there, they don't do loaners), so I went ahead and did it.

It took me almost an hour and a half because I put a LOT of ornaments on, and sometimes I move ones around to make places for other ones to fit in. But I got it done, or at least done for now:

 

There are some new ornaments this year. A friend from Bluesky sent me the Bingo and Chilli ornaments LAST year and I put them on now

 

And a Miss Piggy in her Pigs in Space outfit that I found online and ordered

 And lots of old favorites, you can see the Hudson clocktower one I bought from an Etsy seller, and the My Little Ponies, and mixed in there are a few ornaments I've had close to 25 years at this point:

 I'm glad I did it now. I could have done it on Saturday, but now Saturday is freed up if I have things I need to work on - or if I decide I want to go and do something (this is the last weekend before I travel for Thanksgiving, so if I'm looking for any additional "regional" Christmas gifts, now is the time). And I haven't been antiquing in literal ages and maybe I want to go?

But yeah, the world's still a mess but the Christmas tree does help remind me of good things. 

Couple Monday things

 * I made one concession to the upcoming holiday season yesterday:

 Christmas lights over the doorways, and a strand of giant jingle bells hung up (which I will have to adjust, the door opens into them and doesn't want to open all the way)

I MIGHT pick at putting up the tree this week. I don't know for sure. I'm still not totally in the mood; 2025 has really drained a lot of my remaining capacity for delight, I fear.

* I did do a little Christmas shopping; got to the little gourmet shop downtown on Saturday. It's easier when you go "what might they like" rather than "I want this specific thing for them." Mostly small gifts - some food items, some kitchen gadgets. For my mom at this point I get useful or use-upable gifts like food, she notes that at her age she doesn't need more clothes or jewelry. I will also mail order some things, probably from Stonewall Kitchen and maybe from Seabear. 

I don't know what I want. There's not really anything I need and some of my ability to "want" things has been blunted by ~everything~. One thing I really miss about childhood is the excitement of "I really want this toy and getting it would be the best thing ever" even though it never really WAS the best thing ever, when I was young I could forget that every year and get excited again about what I might get. 

As I've said many times, the things I would really want can't be bought in any store. 

* I also realized that if I was going to give the hat I was planning to give at the AAUW party (we do a "blind" gift exchange), I better start it. So I did on Sunday, and carried it along while giving an exam today

 It's a very dark russet-red - almost a brown - of a Loops and Threads yarn (Michael's). This one is almost a wool-ease clone, except it's smoother and more tightly spun (better: it feels good to knit and the stitches show better) and it's a true dk. The hat pattern I'm using ("Free Breakfast" - a waffle stitch hat) is really for a sport weight but it seems to be working with a dk. I'm using the twisted rib variation on the hat brim - you knit through the back of the loop and it twists the stitch a little. It makes the rib look more defined and tighter and I actually kind of prefer it even if it feels like it takes longer to do.

(ribbing always feels like it takes a long time).

I have some pickle-green or poison green (it's a hard color to explain, it's a very yellow green almost like a tennis ball) from the hand-dyed yarns the former owner of Quixotic Fibers does. I want to make one of these for myself. I was going to do mine first to test out the pattern but I got nervous I'd run out of time for the gift hat.  

Small November change

 I did put away the halloween stuff (well, not the extra set of lights; the blinking orange and purple ones are still up in here but I'll take them down tomorrow). 

 I decided to do "generic fall" on the porch, at least for a bit:

 

I also did a grocery run. Didn't have the energy to go to Denison, and tomorrow they are having a parade (Veterans' Day) and other things and I don't want to mess with the traffic. But wal-mart here on  Friday afternoon is not a good choice, but at least I got mostly what I needed. 

Tomorrow I might go to the farm store, supposedly they have new crop sweet potatoes. I might also go to the little gourmet shop to contemplate gifts - though I think I found something (mail ordered) for my brother. 

The one other thing I did was this. My new glasses were in. They don't look that different from my old ones but the prescription is different. The real test will be Monday, when I have to work on my computer at school, to see if I get an eyestrain headache like the ones I had been getting or not. 

 

This evening's meeting

 I'm a member of the local AAUW branch. Have been for years. One of the meetings I suggested for this year was getting a speaker of one of the Native languages in the area (we are almost an overlap between the Choctaw and Chickasaw nations) and the president was like "well, you know people on campus, see if they can find someone"

It took some doing. And the person I contacted (someone who sponsors a Native American group) was busy and had a little difficulty finding someone who would be free. So in the meantime, we had had the previous meeting of the group, and several members wanted to go to a performance on campus, and we had talked about just doing a short business meeting.

Well, then the next day the person I had e-mailed got back to me: she had a student who was very enthusiastic about wanting to present to us about women in Choctaw culture and I felt bad about the suggestion to cancel the speaker (and I wanted to see the talk) so I had them proceed.

Well, it turned out the speaker came early, it's possible I had sent a message saying "hey some people want to go to a performance, can you come a half hour earlier," and the members who planned to be present were there (the person who arranges times had called everyone)

As it turned out, one of the people who had wanted that had to care for an ill family member, so anyway.

But I'm glad I didn't cancel. For one thing, it was one of the university's students, and it's nice she can add this to her resume. But more importantly, it was a very interesting talk. I like this kind of "teach me something I don't already know" things. I didn't know about the language (interesting fact, Choctaw has at least two ways of forming possessives - one for "things outside of you" (in the sense of not-being-intrinsic) and "things intrinsic to you" (like emotions). According to the speaker, female relatives - the Choctaw people are a matrilineal society and women were traditionally very important "behind the scenes" power* - get the "intrinsic" possessive (so "my grandmother" is formed differently to "my grandfather"). Male relatives get the "not-intrinsic" possessive form. 

(*Apparently the men, who basically made up the government, would go home after a day of meeting/consultation over things like land disputes, and talk it over with their wives and/or mothers, and very often the decisions made were what the women - especially older women - recommended).

She also commented that "women were seen as wiser and less impulsive than men" and yeah, heh.

I had known about using competition rather than true warring to solve things like border conflicts; apparently stickball (which is somewhat related to lacrosse in how it's played) was often used, where the winners were the ones who got to settle the boundaries as they wanted. 

 She also talked about being proud of her culture and proud to be a Choctaw woman and that's good. It's nice to see it when people are proud, in a positive way, of their culture and want to learn more about it and be a good ambassador for it. She wore a traditional "fancy dress" (the long, ruffled skirt and top with a diamond design, and the apron over it.). 

At the very end she had some "cultural questions" and there were *prizes* if you were the first to answer correctly. I wasn't fast enough on the one about the "three sisters" crops (lots of people know that one, I also talk about it in my classes as an example of using a polyculture/mixed planting to avoid some of the problems with a monoculture and also keep the soil healthy). But I got one of them! She asked what it signified when a woman wore her dress back-to-front, given that they fit mostly the same way forward and backward, the difference being the zipper is ordinarily in the back. (it was multiple choice, I think one of the choices was "it's just easier to put on," and another one was "at funerals, to honor the ones who went before us" but I guessed the third because it seemed too practical not to be correct: "easy access when you're breastfeeding a baby" and that was right)

I won a small print of a dancer (I think he is supposed to be a dancer, maybe he's a stickball player, I haven't taken a close look at it yet) done by a well-known area artist. Which is really pretty nice and I might get it framed the next time I have a good Michael's coupon, and put it up somewhere. 

I admit I wasn't super enthusiastic going out again when I got home from school; I was tired. But I'm glad I went, it was really interesting and it was also enjoyable. 

And Wednesday evening

 * The longest and most difficult/tiring day of the week. And this week it was the last field lab of the season. (These are always stressful as they involve driving a fifteen passenger van). I'm glad it's done but I'm tired.

* At some point I guess I start thinking about Christmas? It still feels too early. I do need to take down the last of the Halloween stuff and decide if I put up my "generic fall" wreath and door mat or if I go straight to Early Christmas. I admit I do not feel the spirit much yet, don't know if I will, but maybe it's a fake-it-till-you-make-it.

Many years, I had my Christmas shopping done by now, but this semester has been so busy I haven't been out for other than basic groceries in a little while, and of course there's *very little* in town (I could try the local gourmet shop, if for nothing else, for stocking stuffers). I mail ordered something for my niece but it's backordered and I'll feel bad if it doesn't come on time. 

I might do gift certificates for my brother and sister in law, and I'm considering some kind of fancy-food thing for my mom - I've done smoked salmon in the past and she liked that, or maybe I can find a couple of gift basket type things.

It does hit differently once the family is scattered and you've lost people. I even used to send a "family gift" to the aunts and uncles. 

* it doesn't help that it's been unseasonably warm; it was close to 80 F today

* I am still working on the hat. I'm not quite midway through the crown before the decreases but at least it's looking more like a hat

I do need to start the AAUW gift hat (I may use a simpler pattern, and one truly written for a dk as that's the size yarn I have for it - this one is closer to a heavy fingering weight).

* I'm still enjoying reading "A Far Better Thing." I'm pretty sure it will wind up breaking my heart (based on what I know of the source story, "A Tale of Two Cities") Stories where a character chooses to sacrifice themselves for the good of another that they love always get to me. 

I might read the "source story" next, though Dickens is more impenetrable than this novel and it'll take me a while.

* I did buy myself a little something - well, it was a donation premium for world wildlife fund. I got a "cross fox," which is apparently a fox with a mixed color coat

 

I decided to name him Christopher because Christopher Cross (get it?) but only after a quick check of the official biography on Wikipedia to make sure he didn't "break bad" in some way in recent years (because some well known people have, and I hadn't heard anything about him in a while. Apparently he's been unwell, had a bad bout of COVID in the early days of it)

And if you're not a kid of the 80s or a fan of yacht rock, this might remind you:

 

gosh darn it

 No, there's nothing wrong with the new modem, it's still just fine.

 It's that I realized something, and while it's good for my health and mobility, it means another chunk of my very limited "free time" gets eaten up every other day or so.

I had gone a couple weeks without doing the PT stretches - I had evening meetings, I felt meh, I got the vaccine and felt more meh, I wanted time to "I WANT TO DO WHAT I WANT TO DO" (as Muffin Heeler would say). 

But I kept getting stiffer and sore-r and wondered if that was my reality now. But Sunday evening I decided to do them again. And then Monday I woke up without pain. I was still getting around well today. So I decided: okay, every other day, or every third day at the least, I need to make myself do this. 

Part of the problem, I think, is my hamstrings are very tight, and if I don't keep working on them they affect my gait, and they lead to my hips hurting. And having my gait thrown off means that I'm more likely to slightly hyperextend my knee, which is what makes it hurt. 

So I did it again this evening. It galls me slightly, from the standpoint that I got home at 5:30 (I had a lot of job applications to go through) and then had to fix dinner and do a little piano practice. So I didn't get as much knitting on the hat done as I might have wanted, but tomorrow is another early day (I have to be up by 5 am if I want to do the cardio workout I do and then be ready to leave for work around 7). 

But I don't know. Maybe eventually forcing myself to stretch every other day will continue to pay off, and maybe I'll find a better way to fit it in. (I will say it's tough with four classes and three committees this fall).  

And I'm back

 So, Thursday afternoon, I got my covid booster.

I was okay Thursday night and Friday morning. I videoed this (I forgot it until I looked at my cloud-photos today):

 Yeah, there's gotta be a fault in the line to that lamppost.

Made it through my classes, but then when I got home at lunch I started to get VERY tired. I managed to grade the exam I had given, but that was about it. I also wound up with a big, red welt on my arm that itched (it's still there but is some better)

Saturday I felt better enough to clean house a little.

Sunday morning I woke up and tried to do Duolingo (which I do on my phone) and it kept telling me it wasn't connected to wifi. "Weird," I thought, and went to look at the modem.

Totally dark. No lights at all on. Uh-oh. 
So first I called the service number (they are staffed 24 hours) too see if there was an outage. No, no outage. And I knew the cable itself wasn't bad because the cable tv worked, and I have the cable on a splitter - one branch goes to the tv, one branch to the modem. 
 

The woman I talked to had me try it in a different socket, no go. (And I was reminded it was probably time to replace the surge-control strip; those tend to only be good for 10 or so years). Which I did after church, so I have a new one now.

The woman on the phone said she could set up a service call but I asked if I could just exchange the modem for a new one (I rent it from them). She said "well, as long as you know where the office is...."(I had to do this in 2020 when the previous modem died).

So after my office hours ended, I drove out there. (It's not easy to, you have to cross the busiest street in town). At first the woman at the desk seemed dubious and I thought "oh no do NOT make me have to set up a service call" because I don't have time, but then she said "well, if the tech is here, he can tell me what's a replacement for this one"

And fortunately, the tech was. So I signed some paperwork and surrendered the old modem. 

The new one was basically the same set up - more lights and a little larger, but it wasn't difficult to hook up.

I got it home, hooked it up. Success:

 Well, except then it shut itself back down after a moment and I wondered if they'd given me a bad one. I was also operating under stress - I had a meeting over Zoom like fifteen minutes from then, and if the modem didn't come back I'd have to drive back up to campus for it. (I was also stressed because something went wrong with OneDrive on campus and I almost lost a whole exam I had typed - but was able to recover it - earlier in the day)

But it came back. A friend suggested maybe it was a firmware update it had to do, and I suppose that could be it; it's still fine and I did my Zoom meeting from home. 

Went back to campus for about an hour to do some catchup grading and to finish the exam. 

While I was over there, this arrived in the mail:

This was another journey. I ordered it (pre-ordered) back in August. Supposedly bound printed matter is untouched by tariffs, but between then and now, Trump got angry at Canada and increased tariffs, and Canada Post went on strike, and this had to sit at customs at the border, but I FINALLY have it. (It will be republished next year and apparently then booksellers here will have it).

So yeah, I'm ready for a few things to be easy.
 

little more hat

 * Successfully got the 2025 covid booster today. I did have to, what is the word, affirm? that I had one of the underlying conditions that would make it worse (asthma was the one I gave the guy, which is probably the most serious one I have, but I also gestured at my torso as I stood there and said "I'm also overweight")

The shot itself wasn't too bad, but I'll see how I feel tomorrow. Hopefully I can make it through my classes if I get the typical chills-and-fatigue side effects. 

Flu will be in a couple more weeks. I won't like, I've kind of felt like a pincushion since turning 50; there are quite a few vaccines and other procedures that are advised once you hit that age.

* I've mostly been working on the "Toast" hat. These pictures are NOT true to color (they look washed out to me relative to how it naturally looks) but they show the broken rib pattern for the crown getting started. And also the sequins:

 

No, thank you....

 It had been a few years but it happened again. I probably worked on the computer too long today (evaluating applicants for a teaching position) and then I looked just wrong at a bright light bulb while fixing dinner. And then I realized it - "hey, that afterimage from the light isn't going away" and then "wait, is it kind of pointy?"

I figured it was an ocular migraine but it still made me nervous; it's been a long time since I had one (beta blockers make you less prone to the vascular issues that can cause migraines. So of course I worried - could it be a detaching retina, even though I got an all clear from the doctor yesterday (they do retinal scans at my eye doctor). And then I worried about strokes, even though I've never had any symptoms and have relatively few risk factors.

I tested for the retina by opening and closing each eye - no, the scotoma is the same on both eyes, so it's not likely retina. And I went and looked at my face in the mirror (remembering the FAST acronym - face, arms, speech, time. If my face wasn't okay, I'd try my arms, then call someone and ask if my speech sounded normal, and then - could they drive me to the ER? I suppose the fact that I had the presence of mind to do all that would suggest no chance it was a stroke - and my face was  normal, and when I lifted both arms they worked the same). 

So I ate my dinner in a darkened dining room (the scotoma is less worrisome when you can't really see it, and sometimes sitting in the dark makes it go away faster). Eventually it did but it was a solid 20-25 minutes before it did (usually ocular migraines don't last that long for me).

My face does kind of hurt now - not a true migraine, but I can tell my sinuses aren't happy (it could be allergies, we had a lot of wind today, blowing stuff around) and I definitely had the typical migraine feeling-of-dread when I had it. (I've read that that's mental - migraines can partly be a brain issue like epilepsy is, and sometimes it will affect your emotions and cognition more than the simple discomfort would suggest; there is a real feeling of dread, and when I used to get migraine headaches more than once I worried that it was actually an aneurysm or something. 

I'm glad it's over but I still feel kind of wiped out. I hope that doesn't repeat itself any time soon.  

some Tuesday things

 I had a (delayed by a year, I actually forgot last year) eye checkup today. My prescription has changed a little, apparently one's eyes can get *stronger*? Anyway, apparently my distance vision is a little better. Still no real signs of cataracts (just barely beginning) and the doctor said that since I didn't smoke and wasn't diabetic, it was likely they would progress very slowly. (Another good reason to be a non smoker). 

I did get new glasses. Yes, I buy from them; there's not really another place in town I'd trust and I don't feel like driving an hour's round trip in case an adjustment was needed, and I figure that as a very long-standing clinic (something like 80 years), they will stand behind them. It was expensive but I ordered both regular and sunglasses; my old sunglasses were starting to wear off the coating. 

At least I had the fun of picking out new frames (partly covered by my insurance). 

* I begged off an outreach program we were doing at church. I had to wait a LONG time for my appointment (apparently the person before me with my particular doctor had a problem) and it was 5 pm by the time I got home. And I had a headache - it was VERY loud in the waiting room. I had brought "A Far Better Thing" with me but couldn't really read because the noise (just lots of people talking, loudly) was too distracting. And then it was extremely cold in the exam room (even though I was fully dressed. If it had been at the gynecologist's I might have said something about the cold). And lastly, some of the eye health checks (I think it's the one for cataracts?) involves the doctor using a lens to focus a really bright light onto your eye and that's painful. So by the end of it, I had a headache and was glad there were enough people that I didn't have to go out.

* As I was relaxing this evening I heard a loud noise like something fighting next to my air conditioning unit (it's colder here so I luckily don't have to use it in case it caught spray...) and then shortly after I smelled skunk. There are a couple stray or stray-ish cats that roam around and I wonder if one of them scared a skunk and the skunk unloaded on them.

So, I'm trying to fight a strong smell with other strong smells. It seems to be working though the skunk may just be dissipating on its own

 Peppermint, peppermint mocha, coffee, and "Donut Shop" (kind of coffee like) candles. My favorite scents - nothing flowery works as it's too heavy but mint is good (and eucalyptus is good), and coffee or other food like items is good. 

* I finally had time to make a covid booster appointment; the only bad news is I might lose Saturday to feeling lousy (I often do after these) but I feel like with my asthma it's especially important to keep up with them. (Flu vaccine will come a bit later) 

a new project

 I have a lot of yarn I bought at Quixotic Fibers, some of it dyed by the (original, and maybe still?) owner, who now lives in Florida. It's kind of nice to be able to get yarn that someone you slightly know has dyed. 

I bought a small amount of two kinds, with the plan of making hats. (One of my problems is out-of-sight, out-of-mind. I have lots of yarn I bought specifically for things, then I forget I have it, and buy more).

I do want to make one - off a different pattern than this one is, for the AAUW gift exchange (but I also have yarn of my own, in a pale yellow green, for one for myself).

The pattern here is "Toast" by Tin Can Knits. I JUST finished the ribbing, which is done on a size 1 (so it takes a while) and switched to the size three for the body (a garter stitch and broken rib pattern)

The yarn has sequins worked into it. I'm hoping they're not too scratchy when the hat is done; I didn't account for that.

 the color is called "mermaid" and at least on my screen, it's pretty true to real life. 

I decided to go back to watching TCM in the evenings. The news is too upsetting; a lot of the other shows on are either repeats, or don't interest me enough to keep me from flipping during the commercials. The benefit of TCM is there aren't ads in the middle of the programming to interrupt it. 

I don't love the horror type movies (Halloween); "The Bad Seed" was on the other night and I had to nope out. But tonight was "Going My Way," which I had seen before but not so recently I remembered all of it. And right now it's "Papa's Delicate Condition," which is a broader comedy than what I usually like (and I have to go to bed soon anyway) but it does strike me that Jackie Gleason is a type of actor - or at least has a type of voice - you don't see much any more. It's a little bit reminiscent of Walter Matthau (a favorite actor of mine) but there's also perhaps a hint of vintage Bill Murray in his delivery. 

Maybe acting has changed, or movies have? I did enjoy "Going My Way," the characters in it were unrealistically good people but sometimes you need that, you need the aspirational quality of a nicer world than this one. (And that may be another reason why I like some "children's" cartoons like Bluey and My Little Pony - the characters are better and nicer than the average movie or tv character, and far better than the average "IRL" person. I know we're all complicated and difficult and we all have failings, but dealing with difficult and troublesome people on a regular basis day to day, it's nice to just see characters that have those poky edges smoothed off a little....) 

 

restarting old project...

 I was kind of bored with the vest and the plain socks, and didn't have the energy to wind off yarn for the hats I want to start, so I pulled out a scarf I had worked on for a while but tucked away in a knitting bag (I have MANY knitting bags. One problem is I tuck stuff away and I am very much an out-of-sight, out-of-mind person, and I forget about them.

Anyway, this is Catherine Wingate's "Ruggles Reversible Scarf #1," a pattern I think that's been on the internet for 30 years or more various places (I remember it first from the old Woolworks site, which I think now may be gone? maybe even from the Archive? But it's still findable on Ravelry....)

I added a few more rows. Right now it's a little frustrating because the color shifting yarn isn't; it's stuck in that lavender and tan combo....

 Heh. Trongles. It's a knit-purl pattern that makes triangles or pennant shapes - here I know it looks like it's curved but I have it turned a little funny in the photo.

I don't know about the scarf. Oh, I will finish it, but the whole color-shifting thing is a little weird and maybe a little ugly - not the best combination of colors (The yarn is Lion Brand Mandala, the colorway is named "white elephant," which, yeah, I guess? It came from dear departed JoAnn's, bought it a bunch of years back, maybe even before the pandemic?)

And I don't know. I don't know if anyone else has a weird memory like me but sometimes I will see something I know dates to the before-times (I can often remember when and where I bought yarn, or certain books, or stuffed animals), and I'll feel a little pang for that vanished world - a time when I trusted more, when the world felt like a more generally-friendly, or at least less-hostile place, where my sense of security about things had not been shaken yet. 

I was happier then, I think. Or maybe I only remember the happier times. 

But I do like knitting on the "old" patterns, the ones I knew even way back when I was first knitting again, back around 1997. It was a time when things seemed more exciting and more possible (It does feel to me, with all the consolidations of late, and the closures, like the knitting world is constricting, and like many things, may soon be dictated by a very few oligopolies - except of course there are always the indie dyers, and as long as they can get the base yarns, we may have a supply of "small" sources. Or if the shipping-from-overseas ever resolves, there are places like West Yorkshire Spinners and some of the Scandinavian yarn manufacturers, even if the whole US network of distributors/manufacturers collapses. Or maybe I learn to spin.....and in If You Give A Mouse A Cookie fashion, if I learn to spin, then I need to learn to dye., And if I learn to dye, then I need to get sheep or alpacas.....)

But at least for now - I do have a lot of yarn. And I have books of patterns and patterns I've printed off, even if online were to somehow become unavailable. 

But it does make me nostalgic to look back at the patterns I remember seeing - even if I didn't yet feel comfortable with knitting something like that (even knit-purl patterns seemed complex when I first came back to knitting).  

just random blah

 * I'm not getting much of my own stuff done. Grading is a lot; prepping for teaching is a lot. There are some new paperwork burdens added on us (for some students I have to report midterm grades to three different offices and one of the systems I had to use for one set of them was horribly buggy; it'd back out of everything, back to the home page, after I filled in about three grades and attendances and it was frustrating to have to do a little bit, click back in, do a little more. I hate having my time wasted, especially for something I don't personally value. And this is maybe where I become the stereotypical aging Gen Xer: when I was a student, the only way I knew my grades was by keeping the exams and homeworks that were handed back to me, and computing them myself. Some of the professors weren't even very friendly if you went in and asked (if they hadn't handed stuff back in a timely fashion).

We have an online gradebook where each student can see their own grades (and only their own grades) and frankly that's one of the best teaching innovations in the past 20 years, because students can see not just what their grades are, but whether I've graded something or not (because I post grades within 12 hours or so of finishing grading).

But I do not like being told to send that information to separate offices on campus, especially when the interface is new, poorly vetted, and buggy.

* We also still don't have a computer lab. I asked my chair, he said he'd been "leaning on" the guy at IT, because all the wiring is done, the computers are in, but they seem not to be making it a priority. I reminded him in another week or so it would become a medium-sized problem for me as I need to teach my stats class the stats package we use, and the last few labs in ecology I wanted to do using the online simulations. 

I DO have "hands on" labs that are poorer and weaker (show fewer details) for two of the labs and I could use them. But I will also remind my students that it was NOT MY CHOICE that they are learning mark and recapture using beads (I am NOT driving to Sherman and back to buy crickets, and I'm not spending HOURS trying to find enough rolly pollies or something to do a lab with live material) but that circumstances necessitate it.

And I sent a fairly strongly worded e-mail to IT saying that if they don't have time to set up the computer lab by the end of next week, I need the stats package on the classroom computer, so I can AT LEAST demo the different techniques for the class. It's not good, it's definitely not ideal, but it's the best I can do at this point. (I am NOT trying to teach them to do ANOVA using Excel)

 

All of this and some other things make me feel like I'm failing at my job. I DO NOT LIKE feeling like I'm failing; this is ALL I have in my life and feeling like I'm failing here makes me feel like a failure at life and I don't like that at all.

* And yes, all the other stuff in the world is getting to me. The destruction of the East Wing being the latest thing; I had a shaggy plan to visit DC some day and see the landmarks I saw as a tiny child and barely remember (the National Zoo, the Lincoln Memorial, and travel out to Mt. Vernon) and other things I don't remember or didn't see. (I guess there are no more White House tours, though. I might have - under a different president - have liked to have taken one). 

And that's not even the worst thing, I get it, and people on Bluesky are scolding people for feeling bad about it when there are worse things. But it's a thing that feels visceral to me, and I feel how I feel. 

So everything seems kind of terrible right now, and there don't feel like a whole lot of consolations

* We're supposed to get an Aldi's soon here but I think the Alberstons'  - which I was really hoping for - has been cancelled. Aldi is good for a lot of people but the stuff like produce is sold in large enough quantities it's not useful to me, and I am not taking on the additional emotional labor of trying to link up with another solo cook and having us try to split orders (and anyway: there are so many fruits and vegetables I can't eat because of my allergies, I'm sure a normal person would get frustrated over someone who would never buy carrots or zucchini)

* I'm watching the new "Matlock" which is very unlike the old "Matlock" except in name. I WANT to like it, because the actors in it are good, but everyone is so morally GREY and I am WORN OUT by moral greyness and outright badness. And it feels like either the "good guys" won't win, or, more likely - there are no "good guys"

and yes, I know,t hat's real life: no one is fully good, everyone is morally tainted, we all lie and cheat or don't do things we should. But I would like some entertainment that is different. (That may actually be why I like cartoons so much; in a lot of the really kid-oriented ones there isn't the moral greyness, and even in ones like Bob's Burgers - well, even though Louise "reads" as cynical and selfish, in a lot of episodes you see that she does care about other people, and she also really cares about being a decent person, deep down. 

* part of this is surely me being worn out from teaching four classes, a couple of which have some demanding or difficult people in them. And just all the other stuff.

* I did purchase Amtrak tickets for December (I already had the ones for Thanksgiving) and unless the shutdown continues and it gets to the point Amtrak can't run, or someone elsewhere in government shuts it down. And I hate that I have to worry about that; it compromises my ability to feel happy about it.

* I also made an appointment to get my eyes checked. It's been more than a year, and I really need to do it annually given my family history. And I think my astigmatism and maybe my distance vision have got worse, so I need a new prescription, and anyway, the frames on my current glasses are kind of trashed. It will be expensive but being able to pick out new frames is a small consolation there. (I have a sizable amount in savings to cover it; I may also order a new pair of prescription sunglasses because the coating on my existing pair, which are fifteen years old, is starting to wear off part of one lens, and that's probably not safe. 

* I don't know, times just feel hard right now. I feel like things would be better if I maybe had a little more positive reinforcement but maybe everyone around me is just too exhausted to think about that, and of course, when I'm at home I'm all by myself and no one speaks to me. I'm not ready to get a cat - there are so many things I'd have to put away and so many tight spaces I'd have to be sure they wouldn't get stuck in - but maybe some day I do that, get a cat or a calm medium sized dog, just so I have some other sentient being there that maybe will like me.  

a little progress

 Even though life has been horribly busy (teaching four classes is no joke), I have been adding a few rounds here and there to the sweater vest. I am now maybe 2" from where I divide for the fronts and backs. 

It takes a long time to finish even a round because it's all the way around the body and it's something like 200 stitches. 

 

an evening interrupted

 We've had problems with getting the building unlocked in a timely fashion. It *mainly* affects me, as I think I'm the only one who teaches an 8 am class, but more than once students either left (thinking there was no class) or were waiting outside the door as I came down the hall a few minutes before 8.

At the same time: some of the construction workers and apparently a custodian have been leaving it unlocked at the end of the day; one day someone came in v. early (I think it was an electrician repairing something?) and surprised a guy who had gone into the building over night (later on, a few things were reported missing).

So it's not cool. 

This morning the building was locked up tight again. I had an important assignment due in my 8 am class and the weather was good, so there was a crowd outside the back door at about 5 minutes of 8. I unlocked the door, and ran and unlocked a couple others I knew students used (none were locked).

I grumbled to myself after class about having to do things technically not my job (yes, they say "other duties as assigned" but this is NOT assigned, this is me doing the job someone else had and failed to do). And I said to myself: you have to remember to lock up at the end of the day because chances are the person whose job it is to monitor the doors won't be by. 

Well, I had other things to remember: exams to send off to be copied, and one to send off for someone with an extra time accommodation, and my asthma meds ran out and I had to get a quick refill and the pharmacy had texted me that I could pick it up, so at 3:30 pm I ran out of there and forgot the doors.

(I also wanted to try to get home to get in a workout; I  couldn't motivate myself to do it this morning). 

Got the meds, did the workout, washed my hair. Was thinking about picking up my knitting, and then I remembered: OH NO the doors.

And I thought about that time when they found the guy in the building, who had apparently been there overnight. And I didn't want that to be on me. And I live closer to the building than (I think) anyone else in the department. I quick e-mailed my chair just on the off chance he was still there, or was looking at his e-mail, and he'd e-mail back saying "oh, I did it" (he has locked up a few times). But I didn't hear back. And then I thought: well, it's kind of campus police's job. But then I thought: no, YOU opened the building, you should be the one to go and check.

 So I sighed, changed back into "outdoor clothes" and drove over. I don't love driving at night (astigmatism) but at least this was in town, even if a couple of the residential areas I have to go through have a lot of mature trees and very little in the way of street or house lights. 

And I finally got there

 Someone had locked up. Maybe it was my chair. Maybe it was the guy whose job it was. I don't really care, it got done and I didn't have to run around in the dark and check OTHER doors then.

But I had wanted to work on the yellow cabled vest (I added a few rounds to it over the weekend) but maybe I just go to bed and read instead. I'm enjoying "A Far Better Thing" and I found that in my set of old Dickens novels I DO have A Tale of Two Cities (the source material). I contemplated briefly trying to read them in parallel but I don't think I have the concentration to keep two similar but different novels separate any more, so maybe I consider reading that AFTER. (As I said: I know the basic story, and ages and ages ago saw the old Ronald Colman movie, shown by a long-ago teacher.) 

treat yo'self again

 Back when Parks and Rec was a thing (I still like the show though I think others have rejected it as "cringe" for being too earnest and portraying small town politicians as too good - we live in a cynical age), there was an episode where two of the characters did "Treat Yo Self Day" which basically  meant you spend time and money on stuff that made you feel good.  

And yeah, maybe that itself is "cringe" now given that we all need to economize, and that there are also certain places we "should not" be buying from.

I seem to remember the day was October 13.

Well, on the 13th I was having calcium deposits scaled off my teeth in the dentist's chair, so.

 

I had spent some time sorting and putting away sockyarn last night (and also cleaning house) and told myself I had too much and should not buy any more. That at the yarn shop I would JUST get the couple of short-cord small size circular needles I needed for gift hats, and not buy yarn

oh no. Anyway...

"But I don't have any in this PARTICULAR color combination..." This is Gusto Wool, a striping yarn. The idea is the two skeins should work up either in the same sequence, or opposing sequences. 

I also bought this sticker thinking to put it on the back window of my car but I might chicken out.

 

I also went to Michael's, and I saw this and had to have it, because Bluey, but also, I love these kind of "fandom" cookbooks. (And you may remember I still have the vintage-1975 Mickey Mouse cookbook I was given as a child)

 It's actually pretty wonderful - the recipes seem solid (There's a complex one for rogan josh, the curry from Curry Swap) and they are all keyed to something from an episode (so there's a Pavlova, and there are also poffertjes). Many of them seem reasonably healthful - there's spring rolls, which I could make if I replaced the carrot with more cabbage or another vegetable - and the "Ice Blocks" (we would probably call them popsicles, which I guess is a trademark name) are made out of orange juice.

It is pretty clearly originally for the Australian market, even if the measurements are in cups - they refer to "capsicum salad" for the bell pepper salad, and they have Fairy Toast which is not a thing we have in America (buttered bread, crusts cut off, and pressed down onto sprinkles so the sprinkles stick to the butter)

A lot of places have Christmas stuff out and it really DOES feel too early, it was close to 90F here today which is abnormally warm. And it's two weeks from Halloween. But Michael's has some new yarns (didn't buy any) and there are more toys out

 Bluey's friend Coco. Who is cute but in-show she can be a little bossy (they also had Snickers the Dachshund and Chloe, but Chloe didn't look much like herself. No Mackenzies or I'd have bought him)

And I went to Albertson's. Yes, they have some Christmas stuff out, I saw the display of candied fruit and felt a small pang as I thought of how in the past I had the time and energy to do so much baking, and I barely do any more. 

But they still had some Halloween stuff and this thing made me laugh a lot, so even though I don't need any more halloween decorations.....well, Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Ball:

 An orb of skulls. A Skorb. some of them have drilled-out eyes and if the opening in the bottom were bigger you could stick a glow stick in there, and that would be pretty epic (But you can't; it might fit over a tiny LED lightbulb)

 

After getting home I knit more on the new socks, I really like this yarn (from UP North Yarns on Etsy):

 

Thursday evening things

 * I admit, it's nice to have a new season of television on; I'm glad to see "Ghosts" is back, and that "Elsbeth" is back. 

I got kind of stuck in a loop of "the eternal now" - we've had very consistent weather - hot, no rain, not even clouds. And work was a pretty constant grind, and every weekend it seemed I was involved with fieldwork or similar, and it just felt like everything was on a repeat loop, and even when I wanted to relax and just knit and watch something, there was nothing on.

* And tomorrow is mid fall break day. I decided to go to Denison/Sherman - the yarn shop in Farmersville isn't open because of Rhinebeck but the one in Denison is (apparently they're not going, or have an employee who can stay back and hold down the fort), I want to go to Ulta - there are a few things I need there - and maybe to the natural foods store, also. But anyway, it'll be nice to have a day to do what I want, and to be able to go places without one eye on the clock like when I'd try to run down there on Friday afternoons after class. 

*I do also need to clean house. I did a little this afternoon, and might try to do more tomorrow morning before it's time to go (the yarn shop doesn't open until 10, and if I want to plan on lunch out I want to be there over lunch time). And I've got Saturday; I could put in time Saturday morning and take the afternoon to relax; I need relaxation time.

* I did start the second of the "Easter Egg colors" sock; I'm not trying to make these match because it's a very long repeat and sometimes I don't mind non-matching socks:

 I also want to get back to the long- stalled Moon Moth sweater; if it ever does get cool it would be nice to work on. I'm a couple rounds from the part where I start the colorwork. 

 * this came across my Bluesky feed today: Emulator for the "retro" local weather on TWC . There's a "readme" lower on the page, but it's not hard to figure out - you type in your location and click the boxes for what parts of the weather you want. (You also have to turn the little speaker icon on to get the music, which is a big part of the "Retro" Weather Channel experience). You can also set it to run "scan lines" like on an older CRT television.

I used to like the old Weather Channel. I suppose it's now been superseded by phone apps or online weather pages, but it was kind of nice to just turn it on for background noise. And back in the day, when I was having problems with insomnia, or had a bad dream in the night, I'd go and turn it on and just watch it scroll through the forecast info, which was what I remember it showing mostly at night. (Now, it's all weird reality shows that don't interest me). I guess Weather Nation is similar to the old Weather Channel now, but with more ads, and I don't get it on my cable system (My mom gets it on Dish). 

It does feel very much of its time and I admit I'm nostalgic for it because the late 80s and 90s were a more carefree time of my life than now, and the world seemed a bit less unhinged.

* It's time for me to start thinking if I make any Christmas presents. I traditionally do something small for AAUW, looking at my gigantic stash of sock-weight yarn I think maybe I find a hat or cowl pattern and make that. There's a dollar limit (some of the women with more time extensively shop the sales) but I figure stuff that's been in my stash more than a year is fair game. 

I might consider making a cowl for my mom if I can find a pattern I like and if I have yarn that works.