wednesday evening things

 * I feel some better; got the worst of the grading (worst in the sense of "hardest" because it's evaluating other people's writing, and I always worry I am being too heavy-handed and too much imposing of my own style). Unfortunately, apparently one student that I had been pulling for chose to take the "L" (did not hand in a paper, nor did they show up to present their research). Sometimes this happens, though usually it's someone who chooses to skip the presentation only (fewer points, and for some people public speaking is a big hurdle)

* I also got home at a more reasonable time today - yesterday, it was well after 5 pm when I got home (grading). Today I had a chance to pick up some groceries and then come home. I did 20 minutes on the cross-country skiier (I am trying to build back up, though I still can't do the full 30-40 minutes I typically did before the injury) and the PT stretching. I'll see how I feel tomorrow but I'm wondering if this is the key to me keeping some flexibility and being able to walk with less pain. I mostly walked without the cane on campus today. I would like to be able to give it up but when I'm tired, and when I have to walk on hard floors, sometimes I feel like I need that extra support.

In the "health" feature on my phone, there's a "walking asymmetry" feature and lately it has steadily gone down (lower is better) so I hope that's a sign of recovery. But like I said, I'll have to see how I feel tomorrow - I walked more steps today than I had been even without the cross-country skiier. 

* I made okonomiyaki for dinner out of the cabbage that I had forgot I had bought (I'm wondering if I picked it up last Tuesday; I ran a lot of errands that day.

Sometimes it tears or it sticks in the pan, but this time it came out just right

I eat about a third of this as a meal, and then have the leftovers heated up later. It's one of my favorite simple but reasonably healthful things (lots of cabbage, some onion, ginger, and then eggs and flour and soy sauce). I usually don't mix up the sauces for it (the original recipe has you make sriracha mayonnaise and a mix of ketchup and soy and worcestershire sauce) and just eat hoisin on it, which has a similar flavor to the ketchup based sauce. 

*I've been working on the socks. I got up past the gusset decreases, I just have a bunch more rounds in pattern for the foot

so this happened

 Yesterday afternoon, after doing a bunch of grading and fixing up the final exams for this spring, I decided to try to walk outside a little, so I could get some steps in. (I do think I need to keep moving for the muscles; I think a lot of the issues I still have is the muscles are weak and I've been misusing them while favoring that leg). I admit I was sore and had to use the cane (I mostly did not, today). I was about 1/4 mile into the walk when I met my department chair coming back from the "faculty appreciation hour" (I didn't go; I had to be available to collect lab books being turned in, and no one in our department was up for an award this year.

She stopped me. "I have things for you" and I realized I forgot that this was my 25th year here.

She gave me a folder with a certificate in it (Which I might frame, I don't know. The research award I won some years back is hanging up in my office over at school).

And a brick.

Yes, you heard me: a brick.

(Photo, with my name and school name covered up. Most of you regulars know who I am but if someone randomly comes across this I don't want to just have it all out there

I admit, I complained a bit: "Now I have to carry a BRICK back with me?" (I was, as I noted, using the cane, and carrying stuff while using the cane is unpleasant). "I've had to carry THREE" responded my chair." And yes, fair. 

But a brick is sort of an odd thing to commemorate years of service. 

Like, okay, I guess I could use it as a paperweight on my desk. 

But - and I made this joke to a colleague, but maybe he was too young (or even more square than I am?) to get it - about Pink Floyd and "Another Brick in the Wall" and so it IS kind of a weird flex to me. 

But I don't know, maybe they thought coffee mugs were too pedestrian.

It's still in my car. I didn't quite feel like carrying it up the stairs with me this morning to my office. 

I also don't know how I feel about the 25 years. Some time back, I would have felt proud about it: I've kept this up for a really long time! When my colleague T. retires this spring, only my department chair will have been here longer than I am. 

But also....25 years IS a long time to be stuck in the same place doing largely the same thing, and I admit some days I wonder if I wasted my life, or if my idea of a comfortable and "safe" career was TOO safe, and I haven't really done much of anything to make a mark on the world. And what do I do once I retire?

I know part of this is the knee talking - until the injury I had back-of-my-mind plans to do parks volunteer work, lead hikes, that kind of thing. But if I can't walk comfortably for more than half a mile, what do I do? And I admit there's some echo of what happened with my dad - by the time he retired, his arthritis (Mostly in his knees, but some in his back) was so bad he couldn't do very much. And I think of that and kind of despair - one of the things about getting older for me has been it seems that possibilities close down or go away, and I don't really see new ones cropping up. And that scares me. (It's not unrelated to my feeling of "I keep losing people, but it seems I don't have a chance to "replace" them in my life with things like new friends). 

And lord knows I haven't taught as well this past year, and I haven't done much research at all since the pandemic - it's like that whole thing drained all the fire out of me and made me feel less like anything has a lot of a point to it. 

But hey, now I have a brick that shows me where my life went, I guess?

Oh, I'll probably feel better about it eventually, especially if my knee ever gets better, but right now....well, yeah, this is just another thing that whoever winds up as my heir or my executor will have to throw away after I'm gone.

And some photos

 I did go to Denison this weekend even though it rained. It was TERRIBLE driving back; a pouring pounding rain and I was struck by how many people out on the interstate, in 10% or less visibility, didn't think to put their headlights on. It was nervewracking to have someone wind up on your bumper that you couldn't even see coming.

Getting down there was not bad, though it was raining.

this is Katy Depot - it was once (I guess) a train station, it's now shops and event space. The only shop of interest to me is the yarn shop, though.

They do have some interesting statues referencing the station history

I did buy some yarn - two sockyarns (one I guess is two 50 g skeins that are mirror image stripes; the other one is WYS "Starling" selfpatterning yarn) and enough of a fingering weight for a rectangular shawl I'm going to make using one of the lace patterns in my new Japanese knitting stitches book. 

I also bought some new cable needles; I seem to lose the metal ones and a few of the thinner plastic ones I had have got broken. 

I also went to the quilt shop up the street. I did buy some fabric but now I wonder why; I haven't worked on a quilt in ages now.

I also got lunch; I was lucky that the closest parking spot was non handicapped and was also free:

I also went to Target; that was exhausting. The place was crowded and I suspect some folks in there (it was 1 pm or so by then) had been, uh, partaking, in the substance that "4/20" has come to celebrate in certain circles. I managed to get my groceries (pretty much all I bought was groceries and a few staple items like laundry detergent) and headed for home, and that's when the heavens opened up. I was really glad to get home safely; a couple times I thought about pulling off and waiting it out, but then again, I had a couple frozen items and wasn't sure how long they'd keep if I had to sit for a half hour or more for the rain to let up.

Friday evening things

 *Just really tired. It's been an interminably long week, starting with the whole botched delivery on Saturday.

* I also am once again concerned about my memory and if I'm starting cognitive decline of some sort: there were a couple species yesterday where I struggled to remember the specific epithet for them (could get the genus but not the species, not right away). And then tonight, I opened the fridge to get something and saw a bag of shredded cabbage I had totally forgotten I bought it. And then I asked myself: wait, when did you go to wal-mart. (Best I can remember? Saturday morning? Maybe?). I mean, it's still good for another week AND I am going to cook it, but still - it's alarming now how easily I can put things away and forget I have them.

And no, I'm not taking pain pills, not other than regular old tylenol. But maybe tylenol screws with your brain and maybe I need to quit taking it? I don't know. 

Maybe I need to go for a neurological assessment; this is worrying. Then again: I've had memory problems off and on since my dad died and the pandemic. 

* I finished the first sweater sleeve last night on Chalcedony and I did pick up for the second sleeve; I got up to the first decrease round today while giving an exam today.

* I still don't know about going tomorrow. My knee is fine, I got new feet for the cane (Yes, I am still using it. I wish I could give it up but walking on a hard floor makes me hurt after a while, and I need the added support). I got to the bank to get cash and gassed up the car. But if it's thundering and lightning, or pouring hard enough driving on an interstate would feel unsafe - well, I stick at home again, and probably don't get out here until AFTER I visit my mom in May.

*(maybe my worried-about cognition is that I'm not doing enough "different" things? And I do need to get out or do something different?)

*The yarn shop IS supposed to be open Sunday but I doubt I could get down there during their open hours after church (and especially after lunch, if I go) so that might not work. Also I wanted to run one or two other places if parking isn't absolutely impossible.  

* Did a lot of grading and a lot of exam writing and a lot of prepwork for finals week this week; that could be partly what's going on; maybe my brain is just tired. We also had a late week job interviewee (over Zoom) and that's always slightly stressful.

*Also something I've been thinking about: what's the appropriate balance of shrugging and saying "It's okay" when stuff goes badly/you get bad service vs. getting upset or refusing to use a place? Last Sunday our meals were VERY slow in coming, and one woman said "Well, strike THIS place off the list" (They recently suggested striking two other places off, one for slowness, one because they were having persistent point-of-sale problems (not their fault). I am more willing to shrug these things off - and I am, I think, the only one in the group who isn't retired, and so my time is shorter and less flexible! But also, I didn't push on some things this week I might have, especially with all the problems with the installation. I didn't  mention it on here, but they ran over my foam kitchen-floor mat and destroyed it. I didn't think to complain about it when I complained about the drain hose not being hooked up (which I got a rather lukewarm apology about). 

I found a replacement (OR SO I THOUGHT) on Amazon, ordered it. It came Wednesday. The box was awfully big for the size of the mat, I thought. But I dragged it in the house and started to open it.

And then - instead of my nice, spongy-foam running-chef mat...there was some big ugly tufted grey thing in there, like a stair runner you'd put on outdoor stairs. Totally unsuitable for a kitchen, given it was like a carpet (and would get dirty fast) and was NOT cushioned. So I went on to Amazon, Could not find a person to contact so used their automated "I want to return this" service. Was told, "Well, drive it to a UPS store and show them this QR code and you'll get your money refunded"

So I had to go to that effort - tape the box back up, load it in my car (it was heavy and this was Thursday afternoon, I was tired and hurting). It was easy enough to hand in and get sent off.....but instead of the refund to my credit card, I apparently got Amazon Bux (have to spend them there) instead. I went through an online bot, and hunted around and MAYBE after 2 weeks once they receive it my card will be refunded, or maybe not.

I am not built for a world like this: where you have to do literally everything yourself, so places can cut the cost of paying a human to help you, and when something goes wrong because someone did wrong, you either get the runaround or a very half-hearted apology (like: "I'm sorry you are upset" about the situation that really was unjust).. 

I mean, I'm still trying to be kind and helpful and go a bit beyond when a student needs assistance, but when I need assistance, unless I ask someone I personally know, who is not involved and whose responsibility it is not, I don't get helped.

But what do you do when every business in your town for some category is on your "bad list"? I don't want to drive to Sherman next time I need an appliance, and pay an extra delivery fee. But Lowe's is out because there is literally no employee on the floor to help. And maybe the local place is out because of incompetent installers. (Perhaps if I ever can afford to replace my dishwasher, I buy one from them BUT say my plumber will pick it up to install it, and pay yet another fee to yet another person. Or maybe I just handwash dishes forever now....)

Am I the only one experiencing really terrible customer service, or if this is just how things are now? Or do I have that kind of "stupid gullible she won't complain" face and people feel okay working me over because they do know I won't go Full Karen on them?

* Anyway. I hope next week is better.

Couple more photos

Second field trip of the week, to the same place. This was with systematic botany, so it was mostly an end-of-the-semester review/chance to see live versions of some things I'd only presented photos or herbarium specimens of. But we also found a plant I didn't know and had never seen before (It's southeastern, and seems to have kind of a limited distribution)

Here it is. Marshallia  most likely caespitosa. Also known as Barbara's buttons

And a close up. I guess it's kind of like Bachelor's buttons, it's an Asteraceae. Apparently it is native here though.

We also saw green milkweed (Asclepias viridis) starting to flower

This evening, I finished the first sleeve on Chalcedony (I just had to do 16 rows of a baby cable ribbing). I give an exam tomorrow and have to decide if I have the energy to pick up the second sleeve tonight so I can work on it during the exam.

I really want to go to Denison Saturday, or at least just get out somewhere, but it's also likely to be raining hard. I'll have to think on it. It seems suboptimal to drive when it might not be totally safe, especially for something "unnecessary." I've really changed my calculus and my comfort level for stuff like that since the pandemic - time was when I wouldn't think twice about it, I'd be all "but I WANT to go, I haven't been anywhere outside of town in over a month, and I need a better grocery store" but now I am like BUT YOU COULD **DIE**. I think I've become a lot more cautious (and I was pretty cautious before) and also the world just feels.....a lot more hostile now. I've had people run red lights right in front of me, I've had people run stop signs, almost back into me as they pull out of a parking space. I've been flipped off more for not driving over the speed limit or "just because" and the world does seem less kind and pleasant than it once did.  And I am lonesome, but I hear stories of people trying to break into groups and being rejected (for example: for being a woman entering a space that is largely men but not exclusively so) or frozen out or just "you're not from around here-d" and.....I don't even want to try. I guess now I have the *expectation* of not being welcomed because everyone does seem very closed down, like they kind of fossilized in the groups they were part of at the start of 2020 and don't want any newcomers.

Okay, fine, I will let them have that. I will learn to be radically alone; it's probably my lot in life.

But in return, I need an occasional trip outside of town to see other places and even just buy groceries from a larger supermarket than what we have right here.

a few photos

 Today was the herbaceous vegetation lab. I was hurting a lot - it's suddenly got very humid here, and Monday afternoon I think I pulled a hamstring a little bit while stretching - but I managed. (Oh, how ready I am for the pain/stiffness/limitation to my gait to be gone. I have good days where I think it's better and then I do too much and I'm worse again the next day).

I did grab a few photos

this is Castilleja indivisa or Indian paintbrush. I think when I took systematics it was in the Scrophulariaceae, but it's now been put in Orobanchaceae, which kind of makes sense, given that it's hemiparastic (it taps into the roots of other plants and grabs a few of the nutrients they've taken up - this is more common than you might think)

There's also another form/species of this that is all cream colored.

And this is Baptisia australis, or blue false indigo.. It's a legume. I don't know if you can dye with it but it's a common prairie plant (there are several species across the US, and also B. leucophaea, which is cream colored)

The last one is a blue-eyed grass, genus Sisyrinchium. I'm not sure (I didn't bother to key it out) if it's campestre  or angustifolia. These are super common here this time of year

***

Something else that came in the mail. I had almost all of the Creatable World dolls (I remembered buying them in 2021, but I think that's when the line ended - I think I first got them in 2019.)

This was a small Mattel line, they were roughly Skipper-sized, but designed to be pre-pubescent kids and the unusual thing about the line was that the dolls came with a short haircut and a longer wig that fit over, and a mix of "boy coded" and "girl coded" clothes. The idea was, the kids could make the dolls be whoever they wanted - boy, girl, nonbinary, whatever. 

The line wasn't popular. I think part of it was it was an odd size - while the big kits of the dolls came with lots of clothing (several tops, a couple pants/shorts/skirts, and usually 2-3 pairs of shoes), most standard doll clothes don't fit them (I've had some success with the shorter Barbie dresses on the girl dolls). I've also seen some collectors complain the wigs were too bulky, and I don't know, maybe? 

I think there was also some upset over the whole "they can be a boy or a girl or neither" though I didn't hear/read a lot of think pieces on that. 

They also weren't super-widely available - I never saw them at the wal-mart here, and it was a few months after they came out that the Target got them. They were more expensive, probably because of the details and amount of clothing the big sets included. And the quality of the clothing is very high; I wish most Barbies sold now had clothes so detailed, with real closures like zippers, and made of a variety of fabrics (I have a pair of swim trunks that are actually that sort of meshy fabric on the inside).

At any rate - I got a few early on, and then added a few more. Eventually I had all but one - the blond doll with a partly shaved head (for the short hair style) or a curly blond wig (for the long hair style). Part of it was I didn't like the look of the blond wig on the doll in the photos I saw, and the short haircut frankly made the kid look like the stereotypical "d-bag" type.. 

But the more I thought about it, my desire for a "complete" set got to me, and I wanted one. As I said, the line was discontinued a couple years back, and so they're not easily available any more. But I found a toyshop in the UK that had the blond doll in the "stripped down" set (just the doll, dressed in the little shorts and tank top that serve as underwear and the wig - not even shoes, which is a shame, as they have odd sized feet and no other doll shoes fit). But it was fine, I have a lot of clothes and shoes.

He - because I decided he's the third boy out of the eight I have - came today

I tried the wig on but no, really didn't like it.  And I had a name for him - his name is Duncan. (I had already thought of Kip or something similarly preppy, but I like Duncan better). Duncan because of the minor character who's been in a couple episodes of Bob's Burgers - a funny exchange student from New Zealand. Duncan is fairly sweet (compared to the rest of the King's Head Island crew, who are the typical unpleasant rich kids) and kind of dim, but Tina does have a crush on him (probably partly his accent, which I admit, that kind of thing worked on me at that age - I remember having a crush on an exchange student from the UK, partly because of his accent but also partly he was one boy who would talk with me, though I was aware enough to realize he didn't reciprocate how I felt)

Anyway, this Duncan is a bit similar: he's from a Commonwealth country (Britain instead of New Zealand) and he's a sweet kid but maybe not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Maybe even a bit of what they call a himbo, or the phrase I've heard is "pure of heart, dumb of @$$" which makes me crack up a little every time I think of it. (And I'd rather have someone like that as a friend than someone who was smart but was always snarky and sarcastic)

This Duncan is in clothes from the Creatable World line - the khakis (which even have tiny pockets!) and a t-shirt with a monkey and a green jacket with a real zipper, and the little high tops.

So now my little collection is complete; I have all eight. Five girls and three boys. (I am too hidebound and traditional to pick one to be NB, I guess). Several of the girls (like Mary-Margaret) are pretty GIRLY girls, too - she always wears dresses or skirts, as does Theophani.

not quite yet

 I'm up to row 30 (of 38, before I change over to just the blue) but I ran out of steam this evening. I have four more rows of yellow; I think I'll have enough.

I will say I'm pleased with how it's turning out; Orchard and Vine is a nice pattern and it works up attractively. And I like the yarn (KnitPicks' sportweight "High Desert" blend, which is a Merino/Merino-Rambouillet cross blend, so it's fairly soft and drapey). 

I do want to finish a few things before starting anything new, but I also want to start new things. I don't know what. 

***

I'm currently most reading "Murder at the College" (Victor Whitechurch), another one of those Golden Age British mysteries (there are dozens of these - I often think of a bookseller who had a stall in an antiques mall I used to frequent, who had a sign up noting that before television, and also in small towns (no movie theater), the main mode of entertainment for people was reading (and radio*). Apparently the author was himself a clergyman; the story itself concerns a group of academics, artists, and ecclesiastics who decide on renovations/new additions to churches, and apparently one member went against the grain of an Important Person, who is now the leading suspect in his death.

I don't know; I find these more absorbing than many books,, and so I tend to pick those up at night to read on.. 

I think also fundamentally I like the idea that wrong will be found out and punished (or at least prevented from doing wrong again) and right will prevail; too often in day to day life it feels like those who do wrong just get to keep on going and doing wrong, and those who try to do right are thwarted.

(*and radio, yes. Modern over the air radio, at least where I live, is a very shallow and weak version of once it was - we don't even have a classical or NPR station so I pay for Pandora to have classical music. And I don't know that ANY US stations do on-air dramas any more. BBC, which I guess is kind of like public radio (paid by taxes, run by, I guess, a branch of the government?) still does this - the Radio 4 still does science programs and dramas and comic quiz shows and other things, and it's much more diverse and interesting than the sports talk, political talk and "both kinds of music**" we tend to get)

(**"Uh, what kind of music do you usually have here?" "oh, we got BOTH kinds, Country AND Western." Although here it's really more "Country" and what passes for "Classic Rock" these days)

I suppose arguably radio was what network tv is (more or less) now, but still - sometimes I want to LISTEN while working on something, and not have to look, and radio dramas and the like are designed so you don't have to watch to catch all the action.

And Monday evening

 I got almost no knitting done this weekend; Saturday was eaten up by lawnmowing and all the nonsense surrounding the installation. Sunday I went out to eat lunch with the other church ladies and we got a very slow waitress/kitchen staff and it was after 2 pm when I got home, and I had other things I had to take care of for today. 

And yes, I called the appliance store. Got an apology but no offer of a refund of the delivery charge. Whatever. They did say "well maybe we can make you a deal next time you come in" and FINE WHATEVER. (Narrator voice: they will not, in fact, make me a deal, if I come in again for an appliance)

I feel "unheard" a lot in my life these days.

***

I added a few rows to the Orchard and Vine scarf tonight. I'm hoping I'll have enough yellow to finish the current second (two rows yellow, two rows blue slip-stitching the yellow). In recent years I've occasionally run short on shawls so it does make me anxious. I think I have eight of the rows of yellow left...

***

My knee is still better. I did 20 minutes working out today on the cross-country skiier and for a change I could concentrate on the music I was listening to instead of focusing on "is the pain too bad? am I re-injuring myself? am I keeping my foot straight enough not to stress my knee?" I also did the PT stretches. I am a little sore now but that's probably because I sat still for a while. 

Hopefully it will still be better in the morning. I'm ready for this to be done. I will probably always have arthritis there and perhaps a slight limp (unless I let them go in and cut out part of the meniscus, and I'm still not convinced that would help the limp). My goal is to not need the cane, that's about it at this point. I probably won't be able to do much hiking again and forget learning to play pickleball. But oh well, I could have given myself a spiral fracture instead and in that case I'd probably just now be getting home from a rehab center (after surgery and time in traction)

I guess adulthood is accepting crummy things and telling yourself "well, it could be worse, so you should be happy" but I don't like that.

***

I hope it's not storming this weekend (but it might be). I had originally thought to take a run to Denison and go a few places but if it's pouring or if there are potentially dangerous storms that's not a good idea. I've been stuck here in town for a long time, it seems like, and I'm getting antsy and feeling like I never have any fun.

that was a thing

 So I talked about getting the new mower.

First the good thing - I mowed the whole lawn Saturday. Logged over 4000 steps, the most since before my injury. I hurt a little today, but not badly - more "weak muscles that haven't been used enough" so that tells me I'm getting better.

The new mower is extremely nice. It does a much better job than the reel mower did, it will take down the coarse grass and weeds that the reel mower just left. I'm glad I bought it and now wish I'd gotten one a couple years back. It's the same model as my string trimmer and I THINK the batteries and chargers are the same, so if they are, I can charge one while using the other. (I got the entire front yard and half the back done on one charge, but then again: some of the vegetation was taller and I ran it on "turbo" (faster cutting speed) for a while, which probably ate some battery life. 

I'm also pleased with Tractor Supply and how helpful they were; I will use them instead of Lowe's for that kind of thing in the future. 

The installation of the washer and the dryer, though.....whew. I mean, the tl:dr is everything is fine NOW and I've washed a couple loads in it (I should go get the sheets out and decide if I have the energy to change them tonight) but getting it installed was a whole thing.

So okay: the guys showed up around noon. The tail end of the time window I was given but okay fine, that's par for the course with delivery and service people. They looked at the front and side doors, determine the front one (and through the dining room, and the kitchen) was the only way. Then they started to prep the unit for removal. Some disapproving noises. Then one of the guys came out to where I was sitting: "Ma'am, the cold water tap is calcified open; we can't close it, you'll have to get a plumber in."

The place I use has Saturday hours so I tried calling. Had to leave a message. The guys left, with a "call the store if you get it fixed, we might be able to come back, but we also have to go up to Wapanucka" (which is at least 40 minutes away).

After they left, the plumber called - he was on his way. He came, looked at the tap, and sighed. "Let me get a channel lock. Those guys should have known how to do this." He literally tapped the handle with the channel lock, some calcification fell off, and he turned it off. "I'm not going to charge you," he said  "this was simple and they should have known how to do it"

I tipped him $20 for his trouble - maybe he was able to get a nicer lunch as a result - and he was a good guy to not charge me the $65 home-visit fee. 

But his "Those guys should have known" was, as it turns out, a Chekov's gun.

I called the store back - "yeah, yeah, they're on the road, they'll call when they can come."
I carried my phone in my pocket and did the rest of the mowing. 

Came back in, sat. Didn't want to shower (like I do after mowing) because I knew they'd call while I was in the shower.

Three pm rolled around, I decided to call the store again before they closed. "They're on their way" I was told.

As it turns out, they didn't call, just showed up. Unloaded the new unit into the street (I twitched a bit and hoped none of our careless drivers sideswiped it). They came in and got the old unit, tearing up the closed-cell foam floor mat I kept in front of the stove. Okay, maybe that was partly on me, I forgot to move it when I moved some other things. But still. 

I had to quick scurry and pull down the fairy lights I have hanging over each doorway so they wouldn't hit them - hadn't thought of that (putting them back that evening took a lot of effort, because I just grabbed and balled them up). 

They got the old unit out, loaded up the new unit. It's taller than the old one but narrower. The space has a normal-height ceiling so it fit fine (I was concerned). They hooked it all up - or so I thought.

Handed me all the paperwork, said "we'll start a quick-cycle with the washer empty to be sure everything's fine"

And they left, before the thing completed the wash part of the cycle and went to the drain part.

And here comes the Problem.

When it switched over and I heard it, I thought, "I'll go see how it's doing" and stepped into my kitchen and found......a lake. Water all over the floor. I panicked and first turned off the water taps (thinking, I guess "oh maybe one of the lines burst" but in retrospect - the connection lines to the washer are that flexible metal and probably wouldn't burst. Then I grabbed towels - all the ones I owned save for one to dry off with when I finally showered (at this point it was like 5 pm) and threw them on the floor to soak up the water. 

And I hit the redial for what I thought were the delivery guys, to basically say "guys what the HECK the washer is leaking" but got the same plumber again. He sighed, said "I'll be out in a half hour but this time I'll have to charge a service call" and I was like "I don't care, I need this fixed."

And then I decided to look again - could there be a hole in the unit, could the drum be damaged, could there be a leak in the pipes up in the wall?

And then I saw it.

The drain hose.

It was still folded up against the washer in its transport position, instead of hooked up to the drainpipe that will carry water away to the sewer system.

I said SEVERAL bad words, grabbed the hose, jammed it in the drainpipe. Of course by now the washer was empty. 

Called the plumber back. "Sounds like you fixed it," he said "I won't come out unless you want me to, save you the cost of a service call. I'll be on call the rest of the evening and tomorrow if you have further problems though."

so I turned the taps back on (cautiously), and gathered the soaked towels into a laundry basket (soaked and slightly grubby from being on the floor). Showered, ate something, and then wheeled my desk chair into the kitchen. I put in half the wet towels to the washer, and started the cycle. I sat through it (doing Duolingo on my phone) and waited through. Wash cycle finished, water drained, nothing went wrong. 

When the cycle completed, I put the towels in the dryer. Stayed in there for most of the cycle because I was anxious enough something might go wrong THERE. 

It didn't. So I did the second load of towels. 

I will say the wash cycle on this one takes longer BUT the spin cycle is much more complete, so the dryer doesn't have to work as hard. I presume this is one way newer washers and dryers save energy; by not having to run the dryer as long (this is an electric unit, and using electrics to heat things is costly of energy). 

I did call the store where I bought it right after I called the plumber but of course it was after 5 pm and they were closed. I left a message noting my displeasure; I will probably call tomorrow when they open at 9.

What I would like? An apology and perhaps a refund of the $25 delivery fee. But if I don't get even an apology, or a nonpology like "I'm sorry you feel that way" that Lowe's did? Well, I guess I'll have to find a different store to buy future appliances from. (Which is tough - it's them, or Lowe's, here in town, I guess I go to Sherman and pay the big delivery fee.....so I hope they AT LEAST apologize). 

This is a long-term business and one everyone recommends, but you know? All customer service seems to have gone down the tubes since the pandemic or maybe even before so I won't be surprised at a nonpology.

I mean, the unit is good and I'm glad I bought it but WOW did the delivery experience really sour me on it. When I have the spare cash for a new dishwasher I may buy it there but hire my own plumber to install it.....

Also I'm never doing a weekend delivery from them again, it may be they have their B team on weekends. 

I did go ahead and order a replacement kitchen floor mat; I found Amazon still carries the same exact one (I bought that one in 2015) for about $30. If the place offers to replace the mat for me I'll just tell them what I paid for the new one. (I doubt they sell them so they probably won't hand me one, though if they do, I guess I'll take it and put it in front of the sink)

I like replacing it with the same one; I liked that mat and one of my brain-wiring things is that if I can replace a broken or worn-out thing with an exact copy, I will.

I really hope these past few weeks (well, really, past 3 months) of problems means I'm now due some good fortune and smooth sailing for a while.....

An eventful day

 A lot happened today, most of it good. I wrote an exam for next week, and the review sheets for two exams the following week. Taught my class. Got home for some lunch, then got the cash to tip the delivery guys tomorrow. I debated going out to get an electric mower - I really want to try to do at least a little bit tomorrow, seeing as it's supposed to rain most of the coming week. 

But in the end, I went back to campus, did a little more work for next week. 

Also, in the process of going up and down the stairs, I tried going down left-right-left-right, like I normally would, instead of "bad foot first, good foot follows" taking it one step at a time. I have to lean hard on the railings to balance, but I could do it. And it's not super comfortable, but I can do it. 

I also put up the last set of herbarium sheets. After I had loaded the folders into the boxes I use as carriers, I thought "you know, it's a giant drag to have to drive around, load up my car, drive to the ground floor, and unload down there, I wonder if I could roll the cart of boxes over to the stairs and carefully carry them down one at a time." I figured at that point if I DID fall there were still a couple people in the building to help me, and if after one box it seemed too much, I could always go back and do it the other way.

It was hard, but I did it. 

After that, it was about 4 pm, and I thought, "maybe I try to get a mower now."

Lowes had several models on sale - a Kobolt (which I always want to write as kobold) and an E-Go and, I think, a Black and Decker. I had all but settled on one of the E-Go models - one with the "self propel" feature, because I think I will need that for a while yet. And I waited.

In the past, Lowe's usually had a person in each department who roamed around and asked if help was needed. But today I saw NOBODY. I waited a bit, then went up to the service desk and said "I want to buy one of the battery powered mowers, but there's no one around to assist me" and she said she would call someone, and for me to go back there. I went. I heard her call - twice, a few minutes apart. Nobody showed up. I waited more. I finally told myself, "I'll wait 10 more minutes and go back up and see"

So I waited fifteen. And didn't see a single worker. So I decided: Lowe's doesn't want my business. So I walked back up to the service desk, waited a bit behind some other people, and told the woman, "No one ever came." She did not seem at all concerned by that. I said "I'm going somewhere else, you've lost my business"

Her response: "I'm sorry you feel that way"

REALLY? REALLY? That's all you say?

I dunno, I'm not a customer service person, and I get she's probably not well-paid and well-treated, but if I ran, say, a bookstore, and I couldn't help a customer myself but had called for an employee who never showed, I'd tell them " wait here, I will GET someone" and I would go find somebody and if I had to pull them by the ear, I would get them up to help the customer. 

Because even uninjured, I can't lift a fricking electric lawnmower by myself.

Perhaps that's why I almost only ever see couples, or men with teenaged/grown sons, shopping there. Single women not welcome. 

Well, I was angry. I decided to try elsewhere ("if," I said to myself, "anywhere else in this benighted town even sells battery lawnmowers") Tried the fairly-new Bomgaars. "Nope, we don't have them, later this summer we might get a few in" Well, that doesn't help me,, but I thanked them anyway.

Went to Tractor Supply. Saw the display. They had two Greenworx models, my string trimmer is that brand and it's been pretty good so I figured, okay, I'll roll the dice here even though I'm probably going to pay more, there's no point standing around in the Lowe's where there's no service. 

I went to the customer service desk. A woman was feeding the baby ducks (they sell chicks and ducks to people who keep them). She said "I'll be right with you" and I said that was fine, for her to finish the duck duty first.

She looked up the mower for me - there was one left, and it was on sale, so it actually cost about what the one (of a different brand, but similar features) at Lowe's cost. So I said I wanted it and she said "okay, I'll get Jaxon to get it down" - it was the display model but had never been used (the battery and everything were still closed up in a box) BUT that also meant it was assembled. I commented on that and the guy said "yeah, we do try to assemble them for people unless they say they want to take it home in the box."

But then.....problem. The handle doesn't fold down like on most mowers, and try as hard as he could, Jaxon couldn't fit it in my car. But then I remembered my friend Dana from church had a pickup and lived close to the store, so I tried calling her (with the backup plan of "hey can you hold this for me until I can arrange for someone with a pickup") but she was home and not busy so she came buy, he and she loaded it up,, she followed me home and even helped me clear a space in the garage so I can fit both the mower and my car in. And then she and I unloaded it and put it away, and I put my car away.

I told her the next time the church ladies go out for lunch, I'll buy her lunch as thanks for the help, because she really did help a lot with the garage mess.

So the battery - which looks like the same kind as for my string trimmer - is charging up now, and maybe tomorrow I can do a little mowing while I wait for the delivery.. (I will have to get up early enough to go to the grocery first - I don't want to wait until later, because they get very busy Saturdays). I gave the appliance place my cell number, so I can keep it in a pocket while i mow and when they call to say they're coming I can just quit mowing. 

I was kind of filthy after Dana and I cleared out the garage, so I took a quick shower (and washed my hair, so I'll have to sit up a while longer to let it dry better) and I ate a small dinner, but at least I got the big errands done. And hopefully this time tomorrow I have the new washer and dryer installed. 

I'll probably be sore tomorrow after all the activity today, but that's a problem for tomorrow. And I do think a lot of the pain I have now is just muscle weakness, and so the activity probably helps to build them back up better. I did ice it and take some acetaminophen this evening, so that's about what I can do to cope with any pain. (it doesn't feel too bad right now, but it might start hurting when I'm immobile while sleeping)

Thursday evening things

 * So the repair guy never made it in time yesterday. I was kind of put out, but was polite when I called him to say "hey, I have class in a half hour,  I said I could only wait until 9:30" and he suggested I text him after class today and he "might" have time

So I grumbled to myself a bit - now it would be next week before I could arrange for a new washer if that's what it took.

* Anyway, he texted this afternoon: I can be there after class. I wonder if he felt a little bad that he promised me an 8 am appointment and missed it. (I wonder if someone more urgent came up - if so, that's okay. If it was someone more "important," then not so much). 

At any rate: dryer motor's burned out. It would take $500-ish to fix if he could find a motor that would suit (this is a unit that was built in the last century). So I decided: it's time for a new washer/dryer unit. I thanked him and paid the service charge (he was apologetic that he couldn't do anything, but I get it)

Then I ran down to the appliance place. The same guy I talked to was there so I didn't have to mention "he offered me a couple hundred off the unit from the marked price" - he remembered he offered me a deal. So I paid for it plus the pick-up and takeaway. (I'm still going to get some cash and offer to tip the delivery guys; no idea if that's conventional but I feel they're going to have to wrestle it up a set of porch steps and do the hookups and everything). 

I also made the snap judgment to pay for the 5 year extended warranty. I know, I know, there was a joke in the Simpsons once that emphasized Homer's stupidity by him eagerly taking it, but - I've heard too many cases lately of a 2-3 year old appliance just dying, and now I'm covered for five years. 

* It's supposed to arrive Saturday morning, and they're hauling off the old one. I think places like that can get some of the stuff in it recycled. 

* Yesterday was a tough day though. It was humid and cold and rainy and I was HURTING. And I didn't know: did I reinjure myself? did I overdo it on Tuesday afternoon with the workout (my knee kind of clicked in the middle of stretches - not painfully, but any weird sound worries me now). Or was it just the weather?

Also I had Board Meeting, which meant I wasn't really HOME home for the day until nearly 8:00 - I did get home for a bit at 4, to do a bit of piano practice and eat dinner, but then I had to go back out.

Maybe it was the weather; I felt a lot better today and did another workout today so we'll see how I feel tomorrow. At least tomorrow I just have one class. 

* Didn't do much knitting, between being in pain again and the evening meetings. I did add a few rows to Orchard and Vine tonight. I hope I'm going to have enough of the yellow yarn for the last rows of that section.

* I might do my weekend grocery shopping tomorrow afternoon because Saturday morning the washer and dryer are supposed to come between 10 and noon. I dont' LOVE the idea of going grocery shopping on a Friday afternoon (especially given it's mid-month payday). But if the washer and dryer get here and are set up succesfully, then I can do a couple loads of laundry (or maybe i have to stagger them more now, so I'm not constantly running the dryer? I wonder if I did too many loads in succession and that hastened its demise)

another busy week

 Over the weekend, I first thought I'd sit and knit, but then Saturday morning I started doing some cleaning, it didn't hurt too much, so I kept going - put a lot of stuff away, did all the floors, cleaned the appliances in the kitchen, did all my laundry

And then - at the end of the last load it the dryer, it quit a bit early. I didn't notice because the sheets were dry, but then I found a couple things from the previous load weren't totally dry, so I went to put them back in

And the dryer made a grunt, and acted like it was going to start, but didn't.

I sighed, pulled the stuff out, and hung it up. Figured I'd call the repair guy I use Monday in case there's a prayer of it being fixable (and if not, I'll know I need a new unit)

I also spent a little time doing this:

I hadn't redressed the Creatable World kids, nor the Barbies that I change the clothes on (the Diana Prince one in the blue dress, and the one in the green and gold dress don't get their clothes changed). Most of the clothes on the Barbies are "Buttercup Dress Up" dresses from Etsy - they're very nicely made. There's also a modern Barbie piece or two in there, and on Ginger (the pale redhead) the blouse is actually a vintage 80s piece. On the Creatable World dolls, it's a mix of the more "juvenile" styled Barbie stuff (the Gary-from SpongeBob dress on Mary-Margaret) and their own clothes that they came with.

I hadn't changed the outfits in a very long time, so it was time. 

Sunday after church there was a Budget Committee meeting but that may actually be not as bad as being on the Nominating Committee - the woman in charge is very organized and it made it easy to figure out a possible budget for next year. (With the nominating committee you also have to call people and ask if they'd be willing to serve). 

I knit a little bit on the enormous blanket, and made a batch of Bolognese sauce in the evening.

Yesterday, after the eclipse, it was CWF meeting. 

This afternoon, I just went home after my classes. I managed to walk without the cane (I brought it but left it in my office) and I was a little tired; I also had to go to the grocery store and I wanted to run to the local appliance store, just to look - the repair guy hadn't called back and I thought "well, if he's retired or can't look at it for weeks and weeks, that might be a signal for me to just buy a new one" - I have the money right now, and I'd rather not deal without a dryer for much longer. 

They do have a couple stacked units (I will have to buy both washer and dryer, I cannot fit side by side units into the space). There's  a decent looking GE one for about $1400 and a more-expensive LG (with a front-loader, and I remember some years back people complained about them smelling musty if you don't scrupulously clean them on a regular basis, and one thing I'm bad at is sticking to a rigorous schedule for scrupulously cleaning something). Also the LG is about $500 more. It's $50 to deliver and haul off the old one, but I can't do it myself and that seems cheap enough. The guy said that at this point, if I bought it this week, they could deliver and set up Friday afternoon.

I didn't buy one then; my plan was to give the repair guy another 24 hours to call back, and I also want to measure the space to be SURE (the clerk gave me printouts of the specs) before I decide. (I also might want to move a little money from savings to checking, so I can just write them a check for the full amount*)

And then the repair guy called. He's coming out tomorrow around 8 - I'm going to have to cancel my office hours, but so be it. He'll tell me either (a) it's something simple and not too expensive to fix - which will buy me at least a few more months, (b) it's something tricky and requiring an expensive part for a 25-year-old washer/dryer to be tracked down - which would tip me over to "thanks for your diagnosis, I think it's time for me to get a new one" and I'm only out the cost of the service call to him, or (c) it's totally dead, which decides it for me.

I explained to him about my plans so I don't think he'll be unhappy if I say 'thanks for the diagnosis but it's probably better for me to replace it at this point,' and anyway, it sounds like he has plenty of work to keep him employed. 

I knit a tiny bit on the socks this evening but yeah, I'm not getting much other than life-maintenance stuff done. I'm also trying to be more aggressive (in terms of scheduling) about the PT stretches because I think that's what's improving my flexibility. I still have SOME pain, especially after walking on hard floors, but I can move more easily now. 

And tomorrow evening is Board Meeting (and maybe a quick run when I get home from campus to order the new washer and dryer if this one doesn't seem fixable).

Light got weird

 Today was the eclipse. I was apprehensive that the weather was not going to cooperate and we'd be socked in with clouds. There were some, but you could still mostly see it through the eclipse glasses, and at near-totality, we got the weird dim twilight effect.

I didn't take any photos directly of the eclipse; we had been warned not to use the solar glasses as a filter, that it would mess up the phone camera. That might not have been true; I see others posting theirs online. Oh well. I got to experience it and that's what matters. 

I went out on the patio at about the time they said it would have begun in Dallas. I planned to go back in for a while after seeing the first sliver through the glasses but I just stayed out there. I had also read that even with the light blocking glasses for the eclipse, to only look for a few seconds at a time, so that's what I did.

What I really wanted to know was whether we'd get the "colander effect" through our latticed picnic tables:

No, as it turns out, you can't.

But you can with leaves!

that was fairly near totality. I remember that from the 2017 eclipse, and the annular eclipse that happened this fall. 

I was alone on the patio at first, but eventually a few people drifted out there - some students, the secretary, my department chair. I passed a couple of my spare glasses to some campus visitors* who were there so they could experience it.

I'm glad other people showed up; this feels like something you need to experience communally. One of my few happy memories of 2017 was hanging around in the back parking lot with a group of people for the partial eclipse.

It didn't get DARK dark despite us hitting 99.4% totality. I tried to get a picture, but it doesn't quite convey the oddness of the light - it was like twilight, but from the wrong angle. It almost reminded me of the filtered light you get when there's a lot of wildfire smoke blowing into the area:

The birds were calling - they started as it got dimmer - and I heard both the chorus frogs and the tree frogs that live around the experimental ponds (not really visible from this angle) started calling. 

(*a couple police officers from another town, and someone that I think was an investigator - they are working with a colleague to do some specific evidence testing in a case)

 

 

Though really - this is one of those things that makes you remember you're a part of the world, that humans are really in some ways just animals reacting to their environment (and even though we 100% understand how and why this happens, and that it's not Fenrir eating the sun or something, there still is a sense of the numinous, a reminder that we're part of something much much bigger than we are). And also all the silly stuff - one of the students had eclipse glasses provided by Sonic because he bought one of the (truly disgusting sounding - cotton candy and dragonfruit) "eclipse slushes" they were selling - kind of recedes. (I dislike that kind of marketing, that kind of "let's make the quickest buck we can by throwing up something absolutely tangential to the event - it wouldn't by unlike having a furniture sale to commemorate Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday)

So we watched for a while, commenting on the weirdness of the light as we passed through totality. Oh, we're all scientists and I admit we didn't cheer or jump up and down (not that I comfortably could at the moment, and I'll probably pay for having stood so long on concrete tomorrow) or any of those kinds of things, but it was more of a quiet appreciation of the cool stuff that happens in our world.

Also, I got an e-mail that the wife of one of the minor admins is collecting unused/gently used eclipse glasses - there's an annular eclipse in Argentina in a couple months and she's got a contact there that she will send them to for folks to use. I have most of the tenpack I bought left (I think I'm going to keep the pair I used, at least for a little while), so I'll drop them off on the way home.

Busy day time

 * went in to meet with a student needing to make up an exam. This was someone who had been a bit of a pill in the past (athlete who acted entitled) but I wonder if their coach had a talk with them because they've been a lot more appropriate recently. So that's done

* I also got all the accumulated grading (labs, a set of exams, a late paper or two) graded and the the grades entered into the LMS

* And then, the biggest thing: After lunch I made the last edits on the manuscript. The map isn't *great* but I figured out how to grab the file and turn it into a .pdf, and from there, a .jpg, and insert it into the paper. 

And I checked it over again, and cross-checked with the suggestions. And then sent it off.

Godspeed, little manuscript.

(though it sounds like this "revise and resubmit" was really "do these revisions and we'll publish it" and not a "rewrite it and we might consider it again." This is a small and very niche journal and I think some years they don't get enough submissions)

It'll be really good to have another paper out.

* I came home and managed 20 minutes on the cross-country skiier. Point of comparison: before I was injured I was doing 30 minutes most days (probably could have done 45, but that would have meant getting up even earlier than I had been). So I'm getting there. I did the PT stretches after (part of the reason for the cross country skiier is to warm up the muscles do I don't hurt myself stretching. 

 I felt good right after it, now I'm hurting just a little (after icing the knee and now I have a heating pad on it.

At least I don't have to do anything tomorrow. I don't know whether to work more on the Moominhouse (if sitting on the chair in my sewing room isn't too low of a chair) or knit or what. Sometime I do need to get back to working on quilt tops but the Moominhouse build is currently occupying my cutting table and I don't really have another place to set up to work on it. 

If i were throwing money around I'd consider buying a small folding table for that. But I'd also consider buying one of those battery-powered rechargeable lawnmowers - I think maybe it's time to get something a bit easier to push than the reel type one, and I really don't like having to mess with gas and oil and all that. 

a few photos

 (The blank post earlier - I was trying to get a copy of a map I created in google maps of my research site in a form I could screenshot or save as a jpg file but no dice; I may have to use a different coverage source for the map I finally make. Which is frustrating as I spent some time on it and you canNOT screen shot it, it's some weird proprietarly (klm?) file format)

Anyway. I took my ecology class out for forest sampling. I hurt a little, and did have a few moments of my knee pinching badly out there. Finally I got to one of the small boulders they used to block off a former roadway and was able to sit while the students finished up

Also, I realized I never shared my new laptop with its stickers. I never used to put stickers on things but I decided to go ahead. I had the Duolingo one an the one of Abigail Starling's streaming character (the pink catgirl), and then I bought some more - a couple are from Turtles Soup (the bookshelf and screaming opossum), others (the garfield x hello kitty one) are from Doodles by Cam, and the Twilight Sparkle and Tea Enjoyer are from demiwithers. I just added the soot sprites tonight; I had placed a small order from Jet Pens and put them in to get free shipping (as I remember)

Also on my desk (at home) I have a Smurfette. I can't remember if I specifically ordered her from Schleich or if she was a freebee when I ordered a couple other things (they sometimes do it). I think she's supposed to be a pirate but she makes me think more of Serenity and "I aim to misbehave":

She does have a sword; you can just see the tip of the hilt near her right hand.

I also grabbed a quick snap of the corner on the blanket. I am finally on the second half! It's still going to take a long time; it's like 6' on a side:

and overly tired

 * We were supposed to have big storms last night. They missed us, but I had just fallen asleep when my phone went off with the warning of a bad storm (Which turned out to be north of me; I'm not even sure we got rain). It took a very long time for me to fall back asleep and I had some unpleasant dreams. I probably lost two hours of sleep, which is not inconsiderable, given that seven is about the maximum I can get, and I wake up more frequently if I twist my knee funny or lie in the same position too long and start to hurt

* So I'm finding entertainment that would normally be okay to be upsetting. I sometimes like "Will Trent" because I enjoy the main character and his interactions but tonight's episode was (a) exceedingly violent and (b) featured violence against women, so I had to turn away. 

* I'm also kind of sad because by chance I saw someone today I used to be friends with, but we had kind of grown apart and had lost contact. I didn't even know he was still in town, I thought he had moved. We were perfectly cordial but I could feel that distance and there was no suggestion of "hey, we should catch up" or anything.

And I'm reminded that a lot of times other people matter more to me than I seem to matter to them. 

And I'm reminded of how hard it is to make and keep friends. 

This was someone I was friendly with before the pandemic and being isolated I think led the friendship to die, and then he kind of moved on in life and....yeah. 

The pandemic wrecked a lot of things in human interaction. One of the people on Bluesky I follow commented that " I often think I wasn't much affected by that time, but when I clicked on it I suddenly felt tearful & trapped & nauseous." when she experienced a facebook "memory" from that time. And yeah, I get it. I didn't lose anyone I was that close to, I didn't lose my job, I didn't get sick myself, but when I think back on that time, it feels kind of like an unbelievable horror - I remember saying years ago about the September 11 attacks that if you saw a movie of it and didn't know it had happened, you wouldn't believe something like that could happen. And when I think back on some of the pandemic things, it's the same way. (And of course now, here, it's all over the news that a dairy worker in Texas has contracted avian flu from a cow infected with it and while they're not very sick and are quarantining and being treated, I still have that old sick feeling of "here we go again" and wondering how I'll make it through ANOTHER year of going nowhere and seeing no one.)

And in the relation of the difficulty in finding and keeping friends - well, I remember a much-hated-by-me walmart commercial that showed a family happily (?) sheltering at home with Marvin Gaye and Tammy Terrell's "You're all I need to get by" playing in the background. And yes, ads lie badly, but still - the sense that nuclear families will close down on themselves and exclude everyone else, so people WITHOUT a spouse and kids are pretty much stuck and will have to remain alone forever....I don't like that. (And yes, I think single people aren't a desired walmart demographic - they want families who will buy "family packs" of stuff and have kids who grow and need new clothes and want toys and all that)

* I still hurt from the yardwork this weekend and I worry that I reinjured something. Standing and walking hurts after a while; sitting hurts when I stand up. I don't like this and I wish I were totally better. 

*Oh, tomorrow will be better, it's just I'm overtired tonight from not sleeping, and also getting the specimens for Thursday's lab out (Lots of standing and walking and shuffling things around) and from re-doing one of the major tables for my paper rewrite (lots of heavy concentration-requiring work). And it would be nice to have a little comfort but it seems thin on the ground right now.

the next color

 I worked some more on Orchard and Vine this weekend

I joined in the next color. It's supposed to be a watery blue but in this light it looks more greenish. I'm not very far with the slip stitch pattern - it's the same as the green-to-yellow transition, but because here the yellow is the background color instead of green, it looks different. 

It's all garter stitch so it does grow somewhat slowly.

***

One of the members of the Completely Pointless and Arbitrary group on Ravelry passed away. She was somewhat isolated (I guess a sister was the next of kin?) and ha had slightly shaky health I guess, and she just stopped posting so someone who lived nearer to her than most of us had someone check up, and she was gone. I don't know the details but apparently an ME was involved in determining what happened. 

It's sad. Life is really fragile and short and that's something I've had regularly shoved in my face the past few years. And I HAVE to figure out some way to meet a few new people here; I keep losing the ones I have and I'm afraid of being so alone and isolated that, yes, I will die, and no one will realize it for weeks. And while I know it won't matter to me at that point, it matters to me at THIS point and kind of haunts me. 

Also I've really realized how fragile *I* am. Saturday I spent part of the day using my weed-whacker to knock down (most of) the tall weeds/rank grass in the yard - it didn't really need mowing yet, the stuff there would largely not be susceptible to the reel mower I have, and I doubted I could push the reel mower fast enough for it to be effective. 

I was okay Sunday - a little tired and a little sore - and I stood for a while making the bean enchiladas for dinner. 

But then this morning I HURT. I really hurt badly and had lost some flexibility and was really worried I had re-injured myself (And yeah, I fear I AM going to have to plan on meniscus surgery this summer, this thing just isn't getting better, it's been almost 2 1/2 months). I did do ten minutes on the cross-country ski exerciser and did the PT stretches after school today and I feel *some* better, but....it's very tiresome. And I realize with some fear that if there were a major incident in my building where we'd have to run to get away - well, I just have to quick make my peace with my life ending then and there because I can't run right now, and can't walk as fast as I'd want, and I'm far too heavy for someone to carry, especially if they needed to be escaping too.

(And yes, we still have a police presence; they will probably be here until the end of the semester. We're all a little on edge)

I dunno. Perhaps in an extreme situation I could just make myself run, and say "to heck with how much further it damages me, I can get it operated on later" but I'm not sure I could move fast enough and that scares me.

I hated teaching from home in 2020 but I can see how in dangerous times, maybe teaching from home would be better........like if you felt there was someone likely to be violent coming to campus. (And no, I doubt our troubled student is, and I doubt they would come after me, they never had me in class, but it's still unsettling to see police walking around and to know a colleague who is sort of a friend may be in their sights.)

I don't know. I feel like I could use a little comfort but not sure where to go for it.

Friday evening things

 * Got a lot of grading (all the accumulated grading in fact - an exam for my smallest class, a set of short papers for another class, labs for the third, and a couple late pieces I accepted because the people had been out sick). That took most of the day, along with picking up and putting away yesterday's lab. But I think I can take tomorrow fully off, and finish the rewrite Monday and Tuesday. 

* I then came home and did 15 minutes (very slowly) on the cross-country ski exerciser. I'm using the arm motions more (there's like a pulley with a cord that you use to keep your arms moving in the right plane; it was hard at first and I can tell my back muscles got out of tone, but it's getting easier). It hurt a lot at first and I wondered if I should stop, but then it got better - I find that if I sit for very long (like: grading papers) I hurt until I get up and walk for a while, then it gets better. I mean, it might still hurt, but it's less. 

And I did the PT stretches. And it was MUCH easier to get up off the floor this time; I think my right leg is finally getting stronger. I need to keep making myself do this - the cross-country skiing as a warm up (and a bit of cardio, though fifteen minutes really isn't much) and the stretching because my pain was far less this evening, and I can walk around my house in much more comfort. It probably just takes something like PT to get myself stronger and better.

* I bought some coconut water and drank one after the workout. I think this is better than the sports drinks like gatorade, and I do think maybe it's good for me to do a little electrolyte replacement so I don't cramp up. (The coconut water is mostly potassium, but every other morning I do take a magnesium supplement. And I don't need extra sodium.)

I did have some problems earlier this week with cramping in my upper back, because as I said, I've gotten a bit out of tone these past 2 months. It'll be a while to get it back. 

* I figured out Easter dinner - I found this recipe for refried-bean enchiladas, and I'm going to modify it a bit - a commenter suggested adding a can of the little Hatch green chilis and that sounds good, and I think I will use the recipe for the enchilada sauce for the cheese enchiladas I make out of the America's Test Kitchen "Cooking for One" cookbook (which is an excellent cookbook and I should look at it more often for ideas) instead of buying a can of already-made sauce. 

I will have to buy shallots for it and the bigger tortillas, and make get cheese if I don't have the right kind on hand. I know I have beans and the chilis and the chicken broth and chili powder for the sauce. 

to go along with it? probably some kind of fruit - I tend to prefer simpler meals these days. Unless I make a little plain rice. (I don't have a recipe for the so-called "Spanish rice" many Mexican places serve - I like it, but I think you need a special chicken-and-tomato bullion that's not easily found). And if Pruett's has an interesting flavor of icecream in one of the small pints, I might get that for dessert. 

* I've been picking away at various projects; I'm still about a dozen rows before introducing the next color on the Orchard and Vine shawlette but that's what I worked on tonight. A couple days this week I wore a couple of the shawlettes I've made; it's not so very cold out now but I wanted something a little bit jewelry-like and that would give a little warmth first thing in the morning. So it got me thinking about that one again, and I worked on it again. 

I want to start something new but I really need to finish something first. 

I also have the first sleeve of Chalcedony mostly done; I worked on it in an exam this week. I may try to finish the sleeve this weekend and start the next one - I give another exam Tuesday. 

* Someone posted a link to this on Bluesky and I kind of like it. I use YouTube occasionally to set it just to one of the "ambient music" or "background music" channels because one thing I have found as an after effect of the isolation of 2020 is that sometimes a too-quiet house makes me anxious; I need some kind of sound there that I can mostly ignore but that keeps me from feeling ALONE alone. And yes, I have some 150 CDs but they require one to pay attention, and I also probably need to replace the player; one of the trays in the changer no longer works. (I hope they still MAKE CD players? It seems more and more there's a push to make everyone do everything through the cloud, where the music you buy you might not actually own, if the service either shuts down or if there's some kind of dispute with the artist over copyright)

Anyway - the BBC Channel 4 (radio) does something called The Shipping Forecast, which is like a holdover from older days (though I suppose ships do still need it!). Lots of people like it - it's quiet and repetitive and if you're not actually out having to steer a cargo ship but are instead at home, it's weirdly comforting to listen to. Here someone has set it to ocean sounds, so you can imagine the reader sitting in a lighthouse or a cottage by the sea and watching the weather as he reads:

It's a couple hours - at least what I've heard it's the same reader, though I know the BBC uses different readers. Minimal animation, just a dog/wolf/whatever the creature is looking at his paper and rocking a bit in his chair. 

I don't know. I like it. But I like geography and at one time when I was younger I thought being a lighthousekeeper would be a pleasant life, and I like the idea that there are these lives out there we never think about - I dare say many Americans never consider that the people (most of them men, still, I suppose) out on the sea transporting stuff from place to place are there, and that they need to know what the conditions will be, and that there are also people out there who read that off across the radio.

I like BBC 4. It's a more general-purpose radio station - it has news, and it does a few comedy programs, and it has informational programs, and even a church service on Sunday mornings. I really got into listening to it (I have an app on my phone) during 2020 and it really did make me feel less alone. These days I mostly listen to the news from time to time, or the program ("PM") that comes on before the 6 pm news, which is a more in-depth commentary program. The nice thing about the app is that you can listen to most things any time you want to, you don't have to catch them when they're on. 

Sometimes when I'm cleaning house, or working at sewing something, or lately, working on the Moominhouse, I like to just put on whatever is playing "live" (so I don't have to pick a new program when that one ends) and in a lot of cases, as I said, it's just to have human voices there. 

I miss that in most places now in America, "OTA" (over-the-air, as opposed to things like satellite radio or the streaming music services where you can pick and choose) radio is just kind of.....nothing now. Where I live we don't even have an over-the-air NPR station I can pick up. So it's mostly country music (which I generally don't care for, especially the current form of it, where it's either pop-country or what's sometimes now called "bro country") or it's very shouty political programs (mostly on AM), or sports radio (which can be OK, and I sometimes do like to listen to baseball games). But it's not like it was many years back, or even when I was a kid, where there were hyperlocal stations that did lots of news-of-the-area and even talked about social events and such. Here, I don't know that we have a LOCAL local news station; I'm not even sure which frequency to tune to on either FM or AM during bad weather to get updates; I usually hope the power stays on so I can see the local weather guy on the tv. And I do have one of the NOAA weather radios, but those aren't fun to listen to for an extended time. 

I suppose OTA radio isn't profitable any more, and so it's being phased out in favor of programs you pay for (like Sirius XM) or the public-supported NPR. (I presume BBC 4 and its siblings are "public supported" either by tax dollars or a foundation or something; there are no advertisements on it, and I suspect advertising these days is a fickle mistress.)

But yeah, if I were remaking the world to suit myself, one thing I'd want were several good over-the-air stations that everyone could pick up on a radio, that featured local news and maybe had some educational programming, and maybe dramatizations (either straight drama or comedies), and music, and other informational stuff like indepth weather information....

just wiped out

 Today was A Day.

As it turned out, the person in question did NOT leave to get treatment, and because no actual threats to themselves or others were made, they were still permitted (welcomed?) on campus. But there was still concern. So we had police ("POLICE police," as the grad student said, to differentiate from the campus police, whom a lot of use know). All over the building. I saw a guy walk past my office a couple times, and someone was sitting in the student lounge area. 

I also stayed on my feet for most of lab today (two hours).  I have found my leg hurts worse, and the inability to walk properly is worse after sitting for very long. So I'd sit for five minutes when I just got too tired and then stand back up and walk. And so, after the hard floors at the end of the day, I just ached. Getting down the stairs was a lot harder and I didn't try to take any of the steps leading with my right leg (I've been experimentally trying that when I feel up to it. I can go up stairs alternating legs, but going down is harder, and may be the last thing I get back - if I even do). 

Also it's Maundy Thursday. I had agreed to do the prayers at the service tonight and I did. They weren't very good, though, because I was tired and distracted from worrying about my colleague's safety and about that student.

(I have to go in and work tomorrow - grading, and work more on the revision and I'm really hoping the police aren't there and "encouraging" me to go home - I will if they do, but it will mean I probably have to stay later during next week, or not get the revision done when I promised it)

Just, everything is such a mess, the world feels like a mess. I came home and just cried for a bit between work and before the service, because I was tired and lonesome and just feeling all that's wrong in the world right now hard.

Normally I make some special meal for Easter for myself but I can't think of anything. I know one year I made cheese enchiladas (I have a good recipe) but I'm having some digestive issues with cheese at the moment, so I don't know. Not sure I have the energy to try to get a small enough quantity of chicken (if I can even FIND a package smaller than a couple pounds) and cook it up to do chicken enchiladas. I looked at the steaks at Pruett's the other day and .... it's just too expensive now. I may have to become a vegetarian. I don't eat much meat to begin with but it's getting to the point where meat's prohibitively expensive. 

I have a couple frozen dinners but it feels like giving up to me to eat a frozen dinner on a holiday. 

I don't know. Maybe I try doing enchiladas out of refried beans? I guess that would be possible? Not sure I want salmon loaf and here in town it's harder to get the really GOOD canned salmon. 

One thing I miss from childhood Easters is getting an Easter basket. I did one one year as an adult but it wasn't the same. I do occasionally buy a box of Peeps or a chocolate bunny, but it's not the same as the small gifts and jellybeans and stuff. And I miss having a new dress; that used to be a thing, you'd get a new spring outfit for Easter. Of course back then I was growing and had usually gotten too tall for the previous year's spring dress, and now I just wear what I have until it wears out and then grudgingly replace it.  I also remember a few years we went to a sunrise service; several of the Protestant churches in the town where I grew up banded together and did an outdoor service on the village green (Yes, we had a village green - this town was in the "Western Reserve of Connecticut" in Ohio, and there were definitely the New England features). I can't remember if there were folding chairs (I think there were?) or if we just stood. Now that I think of it - did they "line out" hymns, or just do ones everyone knew, or print the words in the bulletins? I just barely remember the services and I admit back then I was more about getting home to hunt for eggs and look at my Easter basket.

One of the hard things without kids is trying to figure out traditions so some days are at least a LITTLE special; I feel like all too often now I suffer from a deficit of specialness or uniqueness to my days; some days at work I have to think hard about what day of the week it even IS. My life is passing me by.....